It seems a whole lot of my life is spent waiting. I am more aware of this now, as my children eagerly await the celebration of Christmas, counting down the days, the hours, the minutes until the 25th. I think this lifestyle of waiting must be one of those things that you really become aware of once you begin your family.
Throughout pregnancy, you wait. Wait to tell, wait to show, wait to feel that baby kick. You wait to deliver, wait while you labor, and wait to see that little one's face. Oddly, you think that this is the end of the waiting.... but instead, it is only the beginning.
A new little one in your arms, you begin to wait for all new things. You wait for attachment, wait to adjust to nursing, wait for the baby to roll over, to crawl, to walk. You wait for preschool, wait for Kindergarten, and then find yourself crying on the sidewalk in the wake of big yellow bus.
Today, I wait in line to pick up my preschoolers, wait at the door for my school aged kids to come home and wait to see what will become of them all... of US all.
In a society that teaches us to tap our feet impatiently at the very thought of waiting, I want to ground myself in something much more timeless. Especially now, in the season of Advent, I want to seek the heart of Mary who knew, even at a young age, to "ponder these things up in her heart". She knew she was part of something miraculous and while I certainly cannot compare raising my four sweet babies to raising the Son of God, I do not want to miss those miracles happening around me.
Today, Josiah, who was born with an arm that would do nothing but hang limply at his side, waved that healed arm enthusiastically to greet me after a morning at preschool. Today, Elizabeth, who came to us with an ear for Chinese and took her precious time to learn to talk, chatted INCESSANTLY on our drive in the van. Today, Benjamin, who surprised us with a hole in his heart, beat his older brother home, running like a wild man from the bus to our house. Today, our oldest and most shy child came home and talked about how he was given a leadership job in his small group at school and how much he liked taking a position up front. This is the same child who a year ago would have rather stayed home than act as a leader!
There are so many things to ponder during the long waits of my life... so many miracles that surround me as I fly from activity to activity, nearly missing the whole of it to tend to that which likely is not important at all. Today, I choose to sit. I choose to watch. I choose to ponder and wonder and in doing so tie myself to the story that calls to me throughout this Christmas season. Today, I will still my tapping foot, stay present in this one moment, and try to see what is miraculous all around.
This sounds like a full and joyous journey... with room for beauty and story and grace.
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