Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Thinking Through Christmas: The Frivolity of The List


I love this time of year.  I love wonder of it all, the joy we can find, the traditions that have become a structure upon which our family hangs our memories.  I love the pictures, some many years old, that can still just make me smile.  


There is so much good to be found here.  So much truth and hope.  If we can wade through the craziness that Christmas can bring, we can find ourselves sitting in the midst of such good. 

Though sometimes, this is not where we land. 

Every year around November, my speaking calendar fills up.  I have a Christmas talk that I love to give and so this busyness always makes me smile.  The talk offers practical tips to help us connect to the true meaning of Christmas and to minimize the commercialism that annually runs rampant through the holiday season.  

Toward the end of the talk, I address THE LIST.  

You know the one.  The wish list that our children want to create that holds not only the things they want, but also every.single.thing they have ever heard of.  The list that is handed to you, perhaps to mail to Santa, that will leave you feeling overwhelmed, underpaid, and down-right depressed.  There is a sense of deep accomplishment that flows over children who have created an especially 
L  O  N  G     L  I  S  T  
and a feeling of anticipation that comes with believing that magically all these gifts will appear beneath their Christmas tree.  Often, THE LIST holds items you have previously denied your children, items that go against your family's belief systems, and items that far exceed realistic budget constraints.  

And yet we allow them to write The List.  

Annually. 


I have spent a bit of time in local stores over the past weeks and often found myself surrounded by parents pushing store carts through toy aisles filling them with a wide selection of random toys.  I have overheard parents asking one another how they will pay for all these toys, whether any of it is needed and why this item or that item even made The List.

 And yet the items are added to the cart.

And I am left wrestling with these questions:

1.  Why do we do this crazy thing?  Would we ever, at any other time of year, hand our children a piece of paper and offer them the opportunity to request all the things they have ever heard of? Maybe this all sounds Scrooge-y to you.  And that's okay.  But please know that I adore the holiday season and work hard at making it meaningful for my family.  My children DO request and receive gifts.  But we do not do The List.  We do not do it because it feels offensive to me. It seems to me that something about this practice could foster a deep sense of entitlement and commercialism that do not belong at Christmas.  If we think about the meaning behind all these decorations and celebrations, the practice of creating The List does not belong.  Which leads me to my next question... 

2.  What are we teaching our kids?  It seems I keep asking this question of myself... but it feels important and I want to think it through.  I just cannot look past the fact that this season offers us a time to really help our children understand what it means to be loved.  This season can help them (and us) come to a deeper understanding of what true sacrifice looks like.  This season can help us all to look outside ourselves and see the world the way God sees it... beautiful, broken, in need.  As we enter the holiday season, I do not want to be distracted by what current culture tells me is important about Christmas.  Yes, I want to have fun and find myself lost with my children in the wonder of it all.  But, I also want to SEE.  I want to see how deeply God loved and loves me.  And you.  And our kids and the whole of His creation.  I want to reconnect to the miracle that happened which eventually allowed us draw closer to God in brand new ways.  In this season, when the gritty truth of the Nativity offers us an invitation to glimpse true love, I want to daily draw near and take in the scene.  I want to take the hands of my babies and pull them near so they can see, as well.  This picture sits at the center of everything we hold dear.  The birth of Christ child was more than the delivery of God unto this earth. It was and is the delivery of Hope.  And I need that hope.  Don't you?  

As we come into this holiday season, we have the opportunity to be mindful of the lessons we are offering our families.  Those lessons will be found in the words we speak, those carefully chosen and those mistakenly set free.  Those lessons will be found in what we choose to do and what we set aside.  Those lessons will be found in the practice of giving, receiving, requesting. This season has everything to do with each of these but creating a traditional Christmas list may muddy the waters of understanding leaving us unable to comprehend what any of that means. 

This season has nothing to do with rampant requests and uncontrolled commercialism.  It has nothing to do with The List.  This is a season of anticipation and hope.  Reveling in the fun and frivolity that surrounds us can certainly add to the wonder of the days ahead.  But let's not lose our way.  Again and again, day after day, take the hands of the little ones near you and help them to see the truth, the hope, the love that sit at the center of the holiday season.  

Christmas began with a single meaningful gift that literally changed the history of the world. Celebrating this miracle with a flood of meaningless presents can cheapen the truth of this season. But if we seek to continually draw close to the manger, to see what was given to us, and to include an exchange of meaningful gifts as an extension of our understanding of the gift that we were given, we are using even the presents beneath our tree to teach our children something about the wonder of unexpected (and fully undeserved) blessings.  

In this way, we may find ourselves unwrapping a gift we can keep.  



Friday, December 9, 2011

Christmas Mess


As I sit here in the sun, I am surrounded by the trappings of it all. Boxes half-empty.  Bags pulled from the attic.  Tiny tufts of pink insulation that traveled down and lie lifeless on the floor.  The tree is up and lights are strung and the mounds of decorations are ready to be placed.  I know it will all  look lovely but for now it is just a mess.

Oddly though, nothing in this mess has a thing to do with Christmas.  Except... possibly... the mess itself.  Because the truth is that a stable is an awfully messy place to birth your baby boy.  And Mary and Joseph's lives... oh, their young and faithful lives... quickly became a mess, as well.  When I spend these minutes thinking about it all... I realize perhaps I have misunderstood faith in more ways than one.  Because sometimes we think that being faithful will make our lives organized, shiny and neat.  That the right of it will clear the wrong of the world.  And yet, The One we seek to be faithful to came into the world in a way that created chaos in His loving parent's lives.

They were faithful and God still led them into a situation beyond what they could comprehend.

They were faithful and God still called them to do a job they felt inadequate to do.

They were faithful and God still allowed them to feel judged by the world around them.

They were faithful...

It had to feel like a mess.  A holy, purposeful, blessed and confusing mess.

And yet, all they had to do was trust. Trust and walk.  Because some messes are not so easily cleaned.  And some cannot and should not be cleaned at all.

So Mary and Joseph settled into their mess and embraced their boy and did what felt impossible to them.  They raised The One who would save us all.  They wiped His tears and met His needs until He grew into who He always was... The One who would wipe my tears, and yours... and meet my needs, and yours...

I think there is nothing neat about faith.  It is, instead, a willingness to trust that even in the chaos, we are not alone.  It is, instead, trusting that somehow His Hand will uncover the lovely beneath.

Blessings on your day.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve


So, here we are. It is Christmas Eve. The frantic running of "one last errand" is slowing... The counting of presents, the making of lists, the worrying and scurrying and flurrying are falling away. And, here we are.


This is what I know. Christmas is not about any of that. Those busy things are what distract us from all that matters most.


What matters most is this:


With great compassion, God wrapped His love for us in a fragile, tangible, beautiful child. There is nothing more important than God offering us a way... a way to be with Him, a way to be forgiven, a way to see and know and feel love. The birth of Jesus offered all of this to us.


So, together let's take a breath. Together, let's remind ourselves that what our families will take from this sweet holiday has more to do with love than presents, more to do with being than doing, more to do with God's gift than our holiday trappings. We have these two days to shower upon our families the love that was showered on us.


Yep, it's Christmas Eve. What comes next will not be perfect... all will not go as planned... Focus on what matters and store up the rest as memories. Hold the faces of those you love and give to them what was given to you.


How deeply we are LOVED.


Merry Christmas, friends.


Blessings on your day.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Social Network Christmas



Blessings on your day...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Simple Woman's Daybook--Christmas Edition #3


If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... it is COLD. This morning, it is 9 degrees with inches of snow on the ground. It is sunny and beautiful...

I am thinking... about the balance of Christmas. I want to be sure that I am using this time of the year to teach my kids about the Biblical story of Jesus' birth. I don't want to be distracted by the consumerism that attacks us from all sides.


I am thankful for... heat. As I sit here in the family room, my feet are toasty-warm and I don't want to take that for granted. A warm floor is a wonderful thing...


From the kitchen... Yesterday's chicken pot pie is still in the air... but I have hot beef sandwiches bubbling away in the crock pot today. Smells amazing!


I am wearing... corduroys, a long sleeve t-shirt with a pretty, flower scarf and slippers.


I am creating... my next newsletter. I really want this to get out! If you are not on my email list for the newsletter, get a hold of me and let me know. I am happy to add you. It is separate from this blog so even if you get the blog, you need to sign up separately for the newsletter.


I am dreaming... about the new year. I am going to start subbing some and am looking forward to several speaking engagements. I still have time in winter and spring so if you still need someone to speak for your group, conference or retreat, be in touch!


I am going...keep working on our Christmas plans. Now, I am saving some nights... We need the downtime to be home together.


I am reading... Mary Beth Chapman's book. Love it.


I am hoping... for a relaxing break with my kiddos. They are eager to be on break and I am eager to have them here! :)

I am hearing... the dog in the kitchen, the ceiling fan in the kitchen, the glorious sounds of quiet in my home.

Around the house...We still have some decorating to do. I wish we were done... but we are chipping away at it a bit at a time. Are you all set?


One of my favorite things... the crock pot. I love that I can dump things in and let it do its work and then we have a dinner ready to go! Yum!


A few plans for the rest of the week...a bit of shopping, lots of laundry, keeping up with making dinner and hugging my kids.


What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this?
http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Monday, December 13, 2010

A Story That is Meant to Touch


It is a beautiful table. A beautiful spot in my home where pretty things are supposed to sit untouched. Near my entry, situated on a red wall, is a wood and iron table that holds pictures of my children, a candle, and something seasonally pretty. I love that spot.

In October, I put a scarecrow there and the whole scene looks so harvest-y. In November, I take the scarecrow down and put a pumpkin with a turkey carved into it. It reads: Happy Thanksgiving! I tell my kids "don't touch" and have them set their many things elsewhere. It can be a battle... but I love to have a little corner that is beautiful in the midst of the fallout of family.

And then comes December. I put the pumpkin away and carefully unpack a simple but beautiful Nativity set. Onto the red wall table go the pieces and before I can catch myself, the words pour forth.

"Don't touch!"

"This is momma's and it is breakable!"

"Be careful!"

And in a moment of thoughtlessness, I have given my children lies.

Let's stand back for a just a second and see it in a different way. Those little nick-knacks so careful displayed on a table in my entry tell a story that is one of the most important stories I will ever tell my kids. And it is not for those who must stand a long ways off... No, this story is one to touch and hold and feel deeply. It is not breakable at all... It is, in fact, a story that shows the Divine Creativity of a God who is overwhelmed with love. He is willing to sacrifice that which means the most to Him to open His arms to you and me. This is not a story of cautiousness. This is an opportunity for us to run with reckless abandon into the Kingdom of God. Those nick-knacks show the way... The Way He used... The Way for us to find what was lost.

In this season of great love and beauty, let's find a way to make the Christmas story real to our families. I cannot let meaningless figurines stand between my children and the truth. Because nothing, NOTHING, is more important than allowing them to come to the edge of the stable and peer inside. Nothing is more important than helping them to understand that all of it is a lesson to us... the animals, the people, the baby... all of it points us to the truth of who God is and how we can find our way to Him.

In the midst of this busy season, let's help each other out. How do we teach this story well? What do you do with your family that helps to draw their attention back to the Biblical Christmas story? I would love to hear your ideas. Please leave a comment below with some idea to share... the title of a book... a family tradition...

And if you are struggling to find a way to teach this story, I have written a set of devotions for families that might help. Take a look at http://nadiaswearingen-friesen.com/DevotionSets.html to see the set. Every devotional comes with Nativity set that your children can touch and that you can use as a teaching tool to draw your little ones into the story, into the truth. There are only a few still available this season so be in touch soon, if you are interested!

Now, let's share some ideas! I am always looking for new ways to celebrate this season with my family. What works for YOU?

Blessings on your day!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Simple Woman's Daybook--Christmas Edition #2

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... there is snow! :) It is cold in Chicago-land and I am grateful for it all. I know there are folks that fuss and such but for me, this is winter. The ebb and flow of the seasons is a wonder to me and, even when the temperatures fall into single digits, I am grateful for it all.

I am thinking... that silence is wonderful. After a full week last week, I am so happy to have a little bit of quiet in my day.

I am thankful for... a great week last week. I had the amazing privilege to speak to hundreds and hundreds of women over 5 days, in four locations. Oh my goodness, did I have fun! : ) I love my work.

From the kitchen... Prepping for Supper Swap again this week. I am making the Pioneer Woman's Chicken Spaghetti and Chicken and Wild Rice Casserole. I will start today or tomorrow by boiling 4 chickens! :)

I am wearing...Grey yoga pants, a white cami and a black sweater. Comfy after last week's dress clothes!

I am creating... my next newsletter. Do you get it? If you don't but would like to, get your email address to me and I will add you to the list. The next newsletter will offer for sale any of my remaining Nativity Devotional Sets for families. If you want to know more about that, drop me a line! :)

I am dreaming... about my winter and spring speaking seasons. I had so much fun last week that I just cannot wait to speak again. If you are looking for a speaker for the winter or spring, I still have some openings... and am booking into next year. I speak at groups, conferences, retreats, etc... nationwide! Love it.

I am going...work on a bit of cleaning this morning and some cooking this afternoon. I still have a lot of Christmas shopping to do... maybe tomorrow? :)

I am reading... Mary Beth Chapman's book. Holy. Cow.

I am hoping... for a calm, productive week. We are going to see our "China family" soon and I am so excited about that. Being gone will mean that I have to stay organized though... I am also hoping for a van miracle. We need work done on our Sienna... emissions stuff... and have NO idea how to get that done.

I am hearing...my dog breathing deeply in her sleep, a commercial on TV...

Around the house... We are decorating for Christmas. The tree is up and and decorated. The snow village is not done. We are calmly just chipping away at what needs to be done. I will not be distracted by stress during this season of worship. Every single day, I want to remind myself that this holiday has everything to do with the birth of Christ and little to do with what is shown on TV.

One of my favorite things... quiet. I don't get a lot of that... but I really love it. I have learned that a little goes an awfully long way. :)

A few plans for the rest of the week...Supper Swap cooking, cleaning the house from last week's busyness, chipping away at my Christmas to-do list, and hanging out with some of my favorite people in the world... China fam, we love you.

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this?
http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Simple Woman's Daybook--Christmas Edition #1

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... it is cold and dark... looks like it might think about snowing... but not a flake has fallen yet.

I am thinking... about my speaking engagements this week. I speak everyday this week to a wide variety of groups. I love the topic... Connecting to Christmas. One of my absolute favorite talks.

I am thankful for... an easier morning today. Mark and the kids worked hard to get things done so I would have time to get ready for my speaking engagement. This helped me so much! A stressful morning leads to a stressed out speaker... not at all what I want to bring to these wonderful groups this week.

From the kitchen... I am in the mood for chili... how about you? :)

I am wearing... black corduroys, a grey, long sleeved t-shirt. Just changed out of speaking clothes. Comfy, now.

I am creating... a quiet, peaceful season for my family. Christmas is so important... not for the presents but for the wonder of the Nativity. I want my kids to "get" that...

I am dreaming... about this week! And it is here! :) Love getting ready to speak EVERY day... and looking forward to Elizabeth's first ballet show on Saturday night. I cannot wait! :)

I am going... to run errands before I pick up the kids from school so we can enjoy a relaxing night home together. Finding downtime in the midst of this busy season is important.

I am reading... Mary Beth Chapman's book... and love it. Thank you, Junie.

I am hoping... that my Christmas talk can help people who hear it to connect to what the season is really about. I am praying that God's voice will be far louder than mine... and that He will find a way to capture the hearts of those who hear.

I am hearing... The id tag on our dog clinking as she walks, the pinging of the rain against the sliding glass door, my fingers on the keys... peaceful sounds.

Around the house... Boxes and boxes of Christmas stuff is out and about. We are decorating this week, getting our tree in a couple days and starting to feel more ready for the holidays.

One of my favorite things... how happy our dog is to see me when I got home. She has twice come to the computer to pull my hands from the keyboard. All she wants right now is me and my attention. I had no idea that dogs could be so relational.

A few plans for the rest of the week... speaking, speaking and more speaking. LOVE it. I seriously feel blessed to do this work.

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Monday, November 29, 2010

Blog Rewind: Connecting to Christmas

There is a commercial playing right now that makes me mad. As it plays, a young boy is telling his momma all the things he wants for Christmas. From the looks of things, he starts telling her this during the day, continues through dinner, bath-time and bedtime. His list is endless. In the voice-over, the mom talks lovingly about wanting to give her children everything they want. This certain super store can make this possible! By the end of the commercial, I am saddened and angry again.

How did it come to be that we are encouraged to allow unbridled commercialism in our children? When did it become okay to ask for toys all day long? Why would parents even WANT to try to meet an endless list of material things requested by their child?

Is this what Christmas is really all about? Is this what we want? Is it best for us, our children, our budgets, our futures?

My friends, we need to take a breath and really reconnect to the truth about Christmas. This holiday is not at all about materialism run rampant. This holiday began in love and selflessness and hope. Where can we find these things in the Christmas the networks are broadcasting today?

This year, let's reign it in. Let's gather our sweet little ones around and tell them a love story like no other. Let's remember the hope we have... the hope that was born in a simple way, in a simple place, to simple, faithful folks.

I will be sharing some ideas to help us do just this and would LOVE to hear some of yours. What will you do this year to connect to Christmas?

This year, I want my children to understand that presents are just one part. This year, I want my children to remember that God so loved them... so DEEPLY loved them... that He gave them a gift they will never outgrow. This year, I want to make memories and spend time with the people I love most in this world. And in the end, they may have a few new toys but the connections they have formed to family and faith will mean more to them than anything else.

Let's talk together. What works for you? I look forward to sharing ideas!

Blessings on your day!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

It's STILL Christmas??

At church this week, my pastor began his sermon by talking about how short Christmas really is... While we have a long Advent season and a lengthy Lent season, the days of Christmas, the 12 days, are really awfully short. As he continued, he told our congregation that the 12 days of Christmas are actually the days following December 25th. This came as a complete surprise to me. How about you?

As I sat in church on Sunday, in my head I was already making plans for how and when we would pack away the Christmas paraphernalia. With the weather so cold in Chicago, the outdoor decorations will need to stay put for now, but I am so eager for the neat, open look to return to my home. I want my furniture put back in place, dying trees to be retired outdoors and the tidiness I find comforting to return. I love the Christmas holiday... the celebrations, the focus on Christ, the food, the wonder... I love it all... but it is really taking up an awful lot of space in my life.

And yet... today is day 11. Pipers Piping. Ladies dancing. Maids-a-milking. It is all still going on. It makes me stop and think a bit... should THE most important story I will ever hear or tell be something I am eager to move on from? As I seek the comfort of the tidy and predictable, where do I set the story of God who embodied humanity and deity in one small babe? Where was comfort to be found for a loving Father who so desperately wanted to be with us that He gave up all that mattered most to make us a way? Is there predictability in that?

There are pine needles on my wood floors and a Nativity set on my bookshelf. There are candles on tables and wreaths on doors and bits of wrapping paper beneath the couch. It may be time to clean but how dare I even move to set it all aside. The story of the birth of Christ is not, in any way, seasonal. It is not a decoration or a trinket or even just the "reason for the season". This story is hope. This story is truth. This story is where faith begins and blossoms and finds it feet. I am loved. You are loved. We have a God who so deeply adored us that He sought a way to set aside comfort and in His sacrifice, offer us joy.

My house may need a good cleaning. The time may have come to set some things aside. But not this story. Not this truth. Maybe the discomfort my decorations cause me today is a good thing... a good reminder. It is not over, my friends. Not at all. He loved us then and loves us now and I don't want to accidentally set that aside.

Blessings on your day.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Connecting to Christmas #2


Several years ago, I spent hours wandering a Christian bookstore hoping to find something to help my children really understand the Biblical story of Christmas. I saw some things that came close to what I was looking for but nothing that did what I hoped to do.

I wanted my kids to get it. I wanted my kids to be able to spend most of December focusing on that which was and is true. I wanted them to understand deeply all the details of the Nativity. That I did not find.

Last year, I decided I would wait no longer and created a devotional set to use with my family that would meet all these goals. I found a Nativity set and wrote a booklet that would help my children sense the waiting that is so much a part of Advent... so much a part of the Christmas story, too.

Every other night during December, we gathered for a time of devotions as a family. In our family, we did this after dinner while we were still all seated at the table. Using the set I created, we would start by reading a short passage that focused on one of the participants in the Nativity. For instance, the reading might be about angels. Then, after we read about them, we put the angel figurine into our Nativity scene. We did not add anything else... just the angel. The next time we gathered to read the next devotion, we would focus on another figurine... maybe the shepherd... and then add just that one piece to our set.

What we found is that proceeding through Advent this way helped our children to really connect to the details of the Christmas story. By the time we added the baby Jesus, each piece had a story. Each piece revealed a lesson that is important to Christmas. They got it. My children understood.

How do you teach your children the story of Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus? How do you help focus the attention of your children on this most important part of Christmas?

Looking for help? My Christmas devotional set is for sale through my website while supplies last. Check it out at http://www.nadiaswearingen-friesen.com/DevotionSets.html. You can order one through there, too.

So, lets share ideas! What works for you?

Blessings on your day!



Connecting to Christmas


There is a commercial playing right now that makes me mad. As it plays, a young boy is telling his momma all the things he wants for Christmas. From the looks of things, he starts telling her this during the day, continues through dinner, bath-time and bedtime. His list is endless. In the voice-over, the mom talks lovingly about wanting to give her children everything they want. This certain super store can make this possible! By the end of the commercial, I am saddened and angry again.

How did it come to be that we are encouraged to allow unbridled commercialism in our children? When did it become okay to ask for toys all day long? Why would parents even WANT to try to meet an endless list of material things requested by their child?

Is this what Christmas is really all about? Is this what we want? Is it best for us, our children, our budgets, our futures?

My friends, we need to take a breath and really reconnect to the truth about Christmas. This holiday is not at all about materialism run rampant. This holiday began in love and selflessness and hope. Where can we find these things in the Christmas the networks are broadcasting today?

This year, let's reign it in. Let's gather our sweet little ones around and tell them a love story like no other. Let's remember the hope we have... the hope that was born in a simple way, in a simple place, to simple, faithful folks.

I will be sharing some ideas to help us do just this and would LOVE to hear some of yours. What will you do this year to connect to Christmas?

This year, I want my children to understand that presents are just one part. This year, I want my children to remember that God so loved them... so DEEPLY loved them... that He gave them a gift they will never outgrow. This year, I want to make memories and spend time with the people I love most in this world. And in the end, they may have a few new toys but the connections they have formed to family and faith will mean more to them than anything else.

Let's talk together. What works for you? I look forward to sharing ideas!

Blessings on your day!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Christmas Blog 1: Expectations

It's sneaking up on us. A Christmas commercial here, a holiday jingle there. The season is beginning and while I have tried to pretend otherwise, the neon glow pouring out of the Christmas tree displays at every major department store has shaken me from my autumn peacefulness and is building within me the electric hum of holiday stress. So, before it gets the best of me, the best of us, let's take a second to reign it all in and align our focus on the things we want... the things we need... and not those things that have become "shoulds" or "oughts".

There are a lot of pieces of this season that cause us to worry and wonder about our plans and actions but the one that comes first to my mind is expectation. It comes at us from every side; the media demanding that we offer mountains of material goods to children who likely need very little, our families wanting, needing, requesting our time and attention and often calling us out of our homes and onto the road, our children seeking the magic of Christmas all the while being unsure of what that really means, and lastly, our own expectations to provide for our families the lasting memories of family time, of warm scenes filled with the love and hope that are a part of the very core of the season at hand.

It is a lot my friends... it really, really is. Looking at it all can cause the healthiest heart to skip a beat and in many of us begins the building of stress that marrs our annual journey through these days. But, what can we do? How can we break this down into pieces that can easily be handled, one at a time?

Many of you know that Mark and I were privileged to spend 6 years living and working with college students. That experience had a profound effect on our parenting. Each year in August, I would stand in my tiny residence hall apartment and watch mommas say good-bye to their babies. From the outside, those babies may have looked 18 years old, but you and I both know that each of those precious children felt much littler when held in their mother's arms. As those freshman students walked into their college life, behind them trailed memories of sleepless nights, first steps, two-wheeling rides, new shoes, school days, and so much more. We save that all up, don't we? In telling the Nativity story, the Bible says that Mary "treasured up" all these memories about Jesus. Those words make sense to us mommas. We get that. And every year, as college began, I watched hundreds of mothers release their babies into the world... walking away with tears in their eyes and worries on their hearts and prayers on their lips. When they looked at their grown children, they saw babies.... and because I watched.... when I looked at my babies, I saw grown children. Our perspective was changed.

Ask yourself today, "What does my family need from this holiday season?". Don't rush that answer and do not confuse what is needed with what is wanted. On the day that you bring your baby off to college, what holiday memories would you like her to have tucked away? What will matter most to him?

Here is what I know. What I want most for my young family is a season that is fully immersed in truth and love. That has nothing to do with travel or material goods or so many other things that call to us during Christmas every year. My expectation is that we will find moments of peace, that we will claim this season for our family and in doing so, make room for what is most important... a story that is the most true thing I know... a momma and a daddy and a baby that changed the world. If I start here, it becomes easier to see what needs to happen... and what does not.


Several years ago, Mark and I made decided that our holidays needed a make-over. After years of driving and rushing and focusing on goals that were not always ours, we stayed home. I cannot tell you how glorious Christmas has become. Our church holds the Christmas service on the 24th and we always attend that beautiful time of worship. We come home, frost cookies for Santa and go to the Norad website to see where the jolly, old elf has been. We tuck in our babies and finish details for Christmas while watching "It's a Wonderful Lfe" on TV. In the morning, we are greeted, often too early, by the eager faces of our four children who cannot wait to head downstairs to the tree. But, before we open gifts, I load the oven with goodies prepared before church the night before and we gather together in the living room to focus on what we know matters more than anything else. Noah and Benjamin "teach" Josiah and Elizabeth the Christmas story, quoted from Luke 2, using PlayMobile figurines to act it all out. We pray together and begin opening presents. We take our time. We wear our jammies. I drink Christmas coffee out of Christmas mugs and the house smells like egg casserole and cinnamon rolls. When the food is ready, we stop where we are and go to the table to eat. The food is good and cozy and unlike any other breakfast I make all year. The day goes on... assembling toys, laughing together, playing new games. Everyone gets one-on-one time and everyone spends time as a family. We have nowhere to be, nothing to do but be together and play and eat and remember. I make a huge dinner and we usually go to bed early. It is good and it is ours. Sometimes people join us... family members and friends... and we love to share our day with them. We always stress that the relaxed nature of the day is important... our door is open and this is what we do.

It took us years to find what worked... to balance what we do against what we want to give to our kids. But, when looking at the day from the perspective of a momma releasing her baby to college, I feel good about what they will take with them. We struggled with expectations...our own and those of others... but in the end, our Christmas experience has all the elements that we value year-round.

What about you? What expectations do you have for Christmas this year? Are there changes you need to make, encouragements you have to share, ideas that have worked well? In listening to one another maybe we can release the needless stress and find a way to focus on what is really important. In doing so, we may find the joy we hear so much about. That joy is found in a baby and a story that gives us hope. What an important gift to discover!