Thursday, July 1, 2010

Juggling

It's a hard thing to juggle, I gotta say. And sometimes, the balls all fall to the ground. Maybe that's okay.

The kids have been home for summer break for just about a month. The days vary from long and lazy to chaotic and crazy. The whole of it feels like a juggling act... the kids, the house, the writing, the blog, the million things that must be done at any given moment. Sometimes, something has to give. Ever feel that way?

For me, it has been the blog.

I would apologize... but I think you understand. With four kids in the house, it is hard to hear my thoughts, hard to find time to write, hard to steal off to an unoccupied room for long enough to write something readable. So, I had to let that ball fall...

And then there is the thinking it through... I feel inundated by the changes I see happening to my family and to process it well enough to share it with you seems out of reach for now. I am trying to understand what it looks like to: parent a teenager, find my role is in the life of my tween and go slow enough, each and every day, to gently meet the needs of my littlest ones. And it's a lot.

I was never really all that good at juggling anyway.

Yet, there is so much I want to share... so many things I am eager to write about...

Like:

1. Stopping to look at and listen to my children, even when they don't know I am there. I am finding this humbling and empowering, all at once...

2. Watching my older boys run off to camp... what I learned while they were away... and what I hope they learned, too.

3. Remembering what younger children need... and feeling horribly guilty that mine don't get it nearly enough.

4. Wondering at the summer days... the slow and sleepy pace of day upon day and night upon night and all that it holds and all that I hope for it.... hmmm... I am getting away from myself.

For now, I am so busy doing it all that it feels nearly impossible to write it all down. So, when the schedule clears and I have a bit more time, I think you might be sick of all I have to share! For now, I am here like you, juggling and watching ball after ball hit the ground. I am remembering that maybe letting it fall might be easier than fighting gravity.

Because, from where I sit, the view is sweet and I want to soak it up... even with balls at my feet.

Blessings on your day.

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