It's an ordinary day. I woke up to 'Siah's smile at 6:10 AM. I came downstairs and poured myself a cup of the coffee Mark made for me before he left for work. I woke Elizabeth up at 7:00 and she started talking before her feet hit the floor. I checked to be sure that Noah and Benjamin were awake and watched the dog try to climb the ladders to their loft beds. I made waffles, laughed at my kids and watched them scurry around to get ready for school. They took vitamins to stay healthy and ate the breakfast I made for them and had time to lay in a pile around our golden doodle, petting her head, scratching her belly and letting her lick their little faces. A perfectly ordinary day.
After dropping them off at school, I headed to the health club to work out. On my phone, I checked Facebook before going in and clicked a link left by my friend Marla. A couple of days ago, she asked for prayer for a two year old, Layla Grace. Today, she asked for prayer for a little girl named Faith. Both have been diagnosed with aggressive forms of cancer.
Today, Layla's momma watched her breathe. She and her husband took 6 hour shifts, not to sleep near their two year old daughter, but to sit and watch her breathe. They are trying to wrap their heads around what might happen next. Layla has sisters who love her and a dog and a momma and daddy who don't know what will happen today... what will come of this... how overwhelming this day might be.
Today, Faith's momma met with hospice. Her daughter was diagnosed just 5 days ago and she is talking with nurses about how to keep her sweet girl comfortable. She is watching her daughter tilt her head to see clearly, going to radiation consults and learning things she wishes she never had to know. On this day, she is praying that her sweet Faith is not in too much pain.
I sat in the van outside the health club and cried. Maybe you think I should let it go or maybe because I don't know these people, I should be able to set it aside. But, I can't. I can't because they are real and because these little ones are hurting and because in the midst of all my busy, busy days, I forget how blessed I am.
Because today, my kids don't hurt. They climb into bed with me and smile. They laugh and fight and make mess after mess and they have energy to burn. And the truth is, I take it for granted. While Faith and Layla's mommas face horror and sadness, I get frustrated by the noise. I think these two women would give anything for either of these girls to get up out of bed and make some noise. They ache to have their daughters laughing out loud, waking up too early or petting the dog. And I have all that in spades.
Today is an ordinary day. My house is a mess and I have cooking to do. I have not seen the laundry room floor in weeks. I have bills unpaid and work to accomplish and my kids will be home soon. And I am GRATEFUL. Truly. For the whole of it. So, I am going to go in the kitchen and bake some amazing dessert and then plan a dinner for all of us to share. I am going to pick up dirty socks and clean messy rooms and I am going to see it for what it is. A sign. A sign that my kids are strong and healthy today... healthy enough to make a mess and leave it for me to clean. And while I move from room to room, I am going to pray. I am going to pray for Layla Grace, for comfort and peace and a pain-free day. And I am going to pray for Faith, as well. For her doctors and for her family and for her own peace of mind. I am going to pray for miracles today. The kind of miracle that can heal these girls... and the kind of miracle that is all around me. A perfectly, thoroughly, ordinary day.
Blessings on your day.
The Big Boo Cast, Episode 420
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Since college football is starting to move into the rearview mirror just a
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1 comment:
Beautifully written, Nadia. Thank you so much.
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