Worth It All, Even In May

Has it begun for you? For us, the insanity of May is in full swing, and it's only the third of the month! Before I had school-aged children, I believed that the craziest time of the year was found in dreamy December. I was wrong… horribly, horribly wrong.

While the holidays bring fun and festivities, May manages to fill our days with a wide variety of activities and experiences… all with well-defined deadlines. In the midst of wrapping up the school year, we find ourselves juggling soccer and baseball and yard work and fatigue. With the insanity of these days, uniforms go missing, schedules get mixed up and life gets fuller than we had intended it to be. It's easy to become overwhelmed and end up hating the whole. Something about that doesn't sit well with me…

A couple of years ago, I found myself sitting at a late night baseball game on a lot not far from my house. Mark had the younger kids and I was alone. I remember feeling scattered and tired and distracted. Yet, as Noah played his game, I sat comfortably in my bag chair, facing the sunset. Balls were hit and caught and missed and all of it played out on the backdrop of the spring sky at dusk. I remember taking a deep breath and watching a small flock of birds soar skyward as I sat and watched my boy. It was beautiful… a calm and perfect moment that is as clear in my head today as if it had happened just tonight.

Perspective… that whole night changed because the way I saw it was gently altered by the gift of my surroundings. I could have missed the sunset. I could have missed the birds. I could have overlooked the way Noah looked, small and skinny, in a uniform two sizes bigger than he. But if I had… the wonder of who he is tonight might be missed as well.

May is horribly busy. We have gymnastics and science club and baseball and soccer and a musical and a play and track practices…. And, I am tired just thinking it through. But this month, I want to try to overlook the list in favor of watching the life. I want to enjoy the slow, plodding pace of Josiah and Elizabeth's baseball games. I want to settle into my seat and set down my phone while Noah and Benjamin head on up to bat. I want to realize that eating a hot dog out of a paper wrapper, with those I love best beside me, can make another hum-drum night at the ball field a family event.

Because really, what am I missing? A quiet night at home? Another night of TV? None of that really matters. But, when my sweet little one is handed the game ball and our family erupts in genuine praise, we are building a memory that all of us can share. One of these days, not that long from now, I will have plenty of time to rest. I will sit at home while they begin their lives and then I will call it to mind. It was a cool, spring evening and we were all there… the sun was setting and the air was quiet… there were birds in the sky and family close by and my baby swung the bat! One of these days, not that long from now, when quiet nights are all I have… that memory will fall upon me. And I will smile.

Because it's worth it, after all.

Blessings on your day.