Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Reaching Out in the Storm

It stormed last night, loud and bright, for hours on end. I was already beyond tired from an amazing weekend at She Speaks and eager for uninterrupted sleep. I headed up to bed early and settled in for what I hoped would be a long and peaceful night.

It was not.

My head was swimming with thoughts and dreams that were nurtured while in North Carolina. Relaxing enough to drift right off was harder than I had hoped. Then in the middle of the night, the thunder and lightening woke Josiah, who wandered in to sleep with us. As he is my snuggliest little one, I am normally thrilled to wake with him by my side... But last night? I was pushed to the middle of our queen-sized bed and could not get comfortable to save my life! After tossing and turning and fussing and such, I gingerly climbed over my sleeping boy and took my pillow to the guest room.

The guest room is our chilliest spot and I was grateful for good air conditioning. Our golden doodle followed me and jumped up to join in and very shortly, I was asleep again.

But, not for long.

"Momma!" I heard and opened my eyes to see 'Siah's face only inches from mine.

"Momma," he said, "I couldn't find you. I looked and couldn't see you. I was so afraid. I didn't know where you were."

I opened the comforter on the guest room bed and in climbed my sweet boy. He rubbed his face on my shoulder and draped his arms and legs over me in an effort to just get close... to know that I was there... to feel righted and safe and found again. Fears relieved, he drifted back to sleep.

Not me. I watched the storm light his face again and again and prayed a grateful prayer for the privilege of being Josiah's mom. I was overwhelmed by how important I am in the lives of my children... how needed I am... even when I feel like nothing more than "the-one-who-keeps-us-clean-and-going". As I rested there, I was reminded of a Bible story I have always loved.

Luke 8:42-48 (NIV)

"As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. 43 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. 44She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.

45 "Who touched me?" Jesus asked.

When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you."

46 But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me."

47 Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. 48 Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

There are so many amazing moments in this brief story but what struck me last night is that the woman knew what she needed. Because she was "subject to bleeding", she would have been considered unclean and therefore would not have been touchable by others or have the right to touch others throughout that whole long season of illness. And yet, when she saw Jesus coming, she knew she had to get close. She knew she needed to be healed. She knew she wanted to be found and freed from fear and illness. So, she broke the law of the day and reached out to touch Him, though she was unclean... though the law said, that touch would cause Him to be the same. And she was healed. Found. Freed.

Last night, as Josiah slept with me, the whole of that story became tangible. He responded out of need and found his momma. Am I brave enough to do the same? When I know what I need, can I act on that and seek it out?

Seems to me, I have found myself in an awful lot of "storms" lately. Our housing situation, financial worries and momma stresses keep me trapped in a rocking boat. Except, I am not trapped. And neither are you. If I stick out my hand in faith, the edge of His cloak is completely within my reach. I watched my 'Siah find comfort like that... and I know it can work for me.

It stormed last night and I was tired but even in the midst of it all, God was clear to me. Watching my boy, I remembered again that I do not need to struggle alone. The hope was not found in the cloth of his coat, but in the One who wore it well. No matter what becomes thunder and lightening for me, this truth will not change. The One who allowed Himself to become unclean for her, does the same for me. And in knowing that, I find myself a solid place to stand.

Blessings on your day.


Judy Webb said...

Hi Nadia,
I just had to visit your blog. It is delightful. I could relate to your story too as my grandson is named Josiah. He is four and often spends the night with us. Your words offer much encouragement and I found them to be rich with comfort on a stormy day. Blessings.
Judy Webb

Stephanie said...

Mmmmmm...love it. Thanks for sharing.