Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Some Reminders Come in the Middle of the Night

He crawled into bed in the middle of the night.  Climbing over me, he landed between Mark and I, dragging his beloved white bunny behind.  Instinctively, I reached over and lifted the blankets as he shimmied beneath and quickly laid down.  I heard him sigh.  He pushed his chilly feet near my warm legs and we both soon fell asleep.

For the past 15 years, Mark and I have welcomed children into our bed.  We said we wouldn't.  We swore they would sleep in their own rooms.  But, all of those plans flew right out the window within hours of bringing our oldest home.  The bassinet scared him.  He screamed a frightened scream.  And in no time at all, we pulled him close and we fell asleep and all was well in our world.

Most nights, we are alone.  Most nights all our children sleep deeply in their own beds and we do the same in ours.  But, every now and then, someone has a hard night, a bad dream or simply wakes up cold.  And then, in they come to sleep with mom and dad.  And there is nothing in me that minds at all.

This morning, I awoke up to the sound of Mark getting ready for work.  Then I rolled over and found myself face to face with my sweet baby boy.  He may be nearly a decade old, but what I saw was his newborn face.  Awake alone, I watched my Little One sleep.  I listened to his calm, deep breaths.  I studied the shape of his face, the way his long, dark lashes lie on his round cheeks, the tousled, sandy-blond, bed-head hair draped upon my pillow.  And before I my feet hit the floor, I was grateful.  Overwhelmingly so.

In the midst of a busy week, I am thankful for these quiet minutes.  I am aware that this work of mothering can be full of details and distractions and dilemmas.  But finding a minute to actually see my child can help me focus and remember that I am living my life with them and that this life is good.

As he snuggled up against me, he smiled a sleepy smile and I remembered a truth that I need to hold close. It is an honor to be his momma, to be a momma to them all; on good days and bad, when its easy and when it's hard, in the day and the night.

Blessings on your day.

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