Thursday, April 8, 2010

Saturday Faith and She Speaks

Many of you have asked and today, I will answer. Thank you for your kind questions, friends... for you thoughts and prayers.

Last week, the winners of the She Speaks scholarship were released and my name was not among them. I will tell you, I was and am very disappointed. There were four scholarships offered and there were literally hundreds of applicants. I knew all along that the chance was slim but having it be done and over with is a bit sad for me. Except, well... I do not believe it is done and over with.

Sometimes we are called to do things and the calling is clear. For me, She Speaks feels just like this. I know I am to go. Not getting the scholarship makes that a bit confusing but the truth is that when we are faithful, we cannot always expect to have all the answers up front. There is a time and place to stand upon our faith and stare down the questions before us and believe, deeply believe, in what we know to be true.

We saw this in the Easter story last week, didn't we? On Friday, the disciples lost their Jesus. Can you imagine what Saturday was like for them? They were grief-stricken and confused. They had released their WHOLE lives to follow Him and then He was gone. The disciples had heard Him talk about rising from the dead. But truly, how do you believe something like that? What does it look like for us to have Saturday faith in our own lives? Saturday faith that demands that we buy it. Saturday faith that requires us to see the impossible. Saturday faith that allows room for hope in the face of so much struggle. Can we do that?

I can remember feeling this way when I was pregnant with my boys. I could see the promise of a new little one with the positive result of a pregnancy test... but the reality of it seemed so far away. I had to see the impossible and rest in the hope. You do that too. It can be both difficult and exhilarating... and always, always worth it.

Being faithful does not come with promises. Being faithful can be difficult for even the most stubborn among us. It is much more a choice than a feeling and today, I choose it. I choose to believe that my registration for She Speaks is not in vain. I choose to believe that I have opened an account with them in registering for that conference that will somehow hold the funds necessary for the conference. I choose to believe that God's call to attend is true and my need to go is real and that, even without my ability to see the end, it will happen nonetheless.

So, pray with me friends, that what needs to happen will. God does not need THAT scholarship to help me find a way. He is bigger than that. And bigger than whatever struggle you face today. Bigger than illness, bigger than disability, bigger than disease or disbelief. He is bigger and even today, I choose to trust Him fully. Even today, I will wrap my Saturday faith around my shoulders and believe what I know to be true. What about you?

Blessing on your day.

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