Thursday, March 11, 2010

Hearts at Home and Room for Me

For those who read this blog yesterday, thank you. I know the post was long and we all have limited time but I want you to know that I appreciate the time you spend here. I was conflicted about whether or not to post it but the topic is so important. In the end, I hoped you would hear the spirit with which it was written and that somewhere along the way, it might be helpful to you.

Today is a scattered day for me. Many things to do and little time in which to work. I spoke this morning to a fabulous group in Clarendon Hills, IL. I have been there before several times and now the faces are familiar. I was blessed to be with them.

On my way home, I stopped at the printer to pick up cards with mouths and ears printed on them for my Sticks presentation. (Not sure what I am talking about? Click on "Sticks" in the label listing below.) I headed home to catch my breath.

Now, I am preparing for my speaking engagement tomorrow morning and then a weekend away at Hearts at Home. Have you gone? I am so eager to be there with my dear friends, learning and laughing and listening. I feel like my head is being pulled in many directions... but my heart in only one.

Do you ever feel that way? Once, when I was working as a residence director at Trinity Christian College, my colleague Suz and I were talking about the job. At the time, we both felt weary and in need of a break.

"The problem with this job," Suz said, "is that it takes too much space in your brain."

It was true of RD-ing and is also sometimes true of parenting. As I sit here today, I am wondering how one of my boys is doing on his field trip, I am praying for another who has his first crush on a girl, another one of my kids has been a little spacey, another seems to be struggling to understand. My head is full. Add to that, the laundry room mountain that I must climb, the endless cooking that must be done, the dust bunnies hiding beneath the couch, the octogenarian dog wandering lost through the living room, a husband who is evaluating his work... it is overflowing.

And yet, that whole list of things that is banging around my brain is fully about tending to others. And that is okay... until I get tired. I don't know about you but finding myself weary can be a difficult thing. All of sudden, my wick is short, anger flares and patience runs very thin. This is not the mom I want to be... but what am I to do?

Very soon, I will get in my car and drive south for about an hour or so. Registration in hand, I will walk in to Hearts at Home tomorrow and spend two days washing that weary away. I will eat with friends, listen to speakers, laugh out loud and probably shed a tear (or two?). I will have time and space for me. And when I come home, my perspective will be adjusted and even though my head will still be full, I will be able to embrace it anew.

The sun just came out. My crocuses have bloomed. The birds are singing and the weekend is upon us. Soon, I will make room for me. I hope you will do the same.

Blessings on your day!

1 comment:

Meghan said...

I meant to introduce myself this morning at mops as a lurker on your blog. I ran out of time:( Just wanted to tell you, I think you are very, very wise and we are all blessed by that wisdome. Thank you!

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