Menu Planning on Monday--Gotta Regroup!

It seems to me it takes a plan... and sometimes I can pull that together, and sometimes I cannot.  Some weeks fall into my lap and I am totally unprepared to pull us through it all.  To be honest, that "pulling us through" is not a job I love.  When the responsibility for getting my family from Point A to Point B lands on me, I find myself struck in frustration and spinning my wheels.

I spent last week reminding myself of a very basic truth.  When I am in that spot... micromanaging my family and telling them what needs to be done next... I have put myself there.  Mark and I have allowed ourselves to be pulled back in to a place where my children rely on us to tell them what is happening.  It does not have to be this way.  It is not what is best for any of us.  And yet, last week I found myself saying things like this:

-brush your teeth

-use soap in the shower

-get ready for school

-feed the dog

-help with the table

-pick up your dishes

-etc.. etc... etc... 

Why do I let myself fall back into this?  I know better!  We all know better.  My children (and your children) do not need to be told every single thing because they already know these things.  We have taught them these things from an early age!  What we need to do is empower our families to manage their day, doing all the things they know they must do.  When they do, stress is relieved and our day runs smoothly and we get to be the people we want to be... the parents we want to be.  

This week, I will get organized and take care of the things that I must do.  I will chip away at chores and make my menu plan and work behind the scenes.  And I will empower my children to do the same.  (I speak on this topic, Sticks!, so contact me at www.NadiaSwearingen-Friesen.com if you want to know more about the way we make this happen at home.)  This week, I will remind myself that some jobs are mine and some are theirs and when we all do what we need to do, our home runs beautifully.  When we do this, we have time to share together and emotional energy to spend in positive ways.

So today, I will start at the beginning. 

1. I will review our schedule and post it. 

2. I will be sure that chores are assigned. 

3. I will post our menu.  

What are we eating?  Read on! 

Monday:  Half priced pizza from a local restaurant... enough for all to eat for about $9.00!  

Tuesday:  Crock pot meatballs and mashed potatoes. I posted the recipe link here.  I had no idea how much my kids loved this meal until I started tracking our menu.  It is quick and easy and I like it, too!  I am planning a special dessert to celebrate Valentine's Day!  

Wednesday:  Lasagna with homemade garlic bread and spinach.  

Thursday:  Chicken quesadillas with dips and veggies.  This meal is so easy, it is amazing!  The chicken quesadillas are a mixture of cooked, diced chicken, a blend of cheeses and canned chopped green chilies.  I put a tortilla in a hot pan, top with this mixture and then top with another tortilla.  After flipping to heat both sides, I put the quesadilla in a warm oven and continue on to the next batch. Right before serving, I cut them with a pizza cutter and serve with fresh salsa, guacamole and sour cream.  Easy and kid-friendly! 

Friday:  Mark will be home with the kids and they will grill hamburger and hot dogs.

Saturday:  The kids will cook!  Hello, mac and cheese!  We will round this out with fresh fruit and veggies. 

Sunday:  You know how I love Sunday dinner!  This week, we will have ham with all the fixings!  

What about you?  What will  you be doing this week to ensure your days go smoothly?  What jobs can you delegate to family members to relieve the stress you feel?  Today is Monday.  Let's make a plan and start the week off well.  Think it through with me... What are you going to do?  

I have wipe boards to clean, Stick! cups to set out, chores to assign and a week to plan!  So, it is time for me to begin!  

Blessings on your day!  

What if?

The new year has come and I find myself surrounded by resolutions, many of which flow naturally from questions that must be asked...

What if... I finished this book and published it one way or another?

What if... I was less motivated by selfish desires and more by a servant's heart?

What if... I stopped stressing out about where we are all headed and enjoyed more of where we are?

What if... I trusted God with those things that worry me instead of trying to handle them myself?

What if... I reached out in my speaking ministry and let it blossom in that way?

What if... I found an agent who has knowledge and experience to direct my speaking and writing?

What if... I looked for daily sources of joy and helped my family do the same?

What if... I remembered the importance of following God's lead and helped my children to follow, too?

What if... I focused less on having and more on releasing things?  

What if... I took my health a lot more seriously and started feeling stronger?

What if... I worked on friendships the way I did when I was young?

What if... I put the amount of energy into my marriage that I know our marriage demands?

And lastly... What if I did not find excuses, did not manufacture excuses... but instead sought to do and be those things I know I need to do and be?  What does that mean for me?  For my family?  For my speaking? For my writing?  

It is a brand new year.  There are things about my humble life that I love... and things I know could use some change.  But, I cannot change what I do not see... So, it is time to see.  It is time for me, time for my family, time for you, as well.  

Because, really.  Think about it.  

What if... 

Blessings on your day.  

Odds and Ends and Muffins Again!

Look around! I made a few changes here on the blog to make it a bit more user-friendly. A few things to notice:

1. Check out the search feature on the right, at the top. I played around with this myself for a few minutes and think it's really fun. : ) Put any topic in that I have ever discussed here and you will get click-able links to that information. If I ever linked to another site, and they mentioned what you are looking for, you will get links for that as well. I tried search for muffins. : )

2. Instead of a big, ugly list of blog labels, I added a place at the bottom of this page that offers all those labels, not in a list. I like it better. If you are really organized, you might not. : ) Sorry about that.

3. I took some stuff off and tried to put the things you use closer to the top.

Other things to think about:

-I kept the link to my website. If you, or anyone you know, is looking for a speaker for a parenting group or Sunday school class or conference or retreat, click through on that link and you will be brought to my site. From there, you can find lots of information about my speaking topics and booking options.

-If you do not already follow the blog, feel free to add yourself. I am also on Twitter! There is a link on the right to help you find me there.

What's up with Mr. Linky?

So, I have wanted to try it for a long time and couldn't figure it out. If you are new to the whole Linky thing, all you have to do is add your info at the end of the post (Look at yesterday's post if you are unsure what I am talking about...) and then post on your blog on the same topic I posted about. When people bop in here and read about the topic, they can then click on to yours to read more on the same topic. I like the Simple Woman's Daybook topic... I think I will do it again. Normally, it is posted on Tuesdays so keep that in mind and let's grow that list. Mr. Linky is just a fun way to help connect a whole bunch of blogs.

And wait! Did I mention speaking?

I am going to be speaking in Michigan on April 24. If you know of someone who is looking for a speaker around that time, please send them my way. I would love to add other groups to that weekend!

And... how's this for random?

You know that amazing muffin recipe from last week? You remember, the chocolate pumpkin muffins? Easy peasy? This week, I tried that same recipe with a spice cake mix and a can of pumpkin (I found organic pumpkin at Target!). The results were amazing. My kids LOVED these pumpkin muffins and they were so easy. Made me think that there are millions of ways to tweak this recipe to discover new flavors. What cake flavor will you try next? : )

Okay, this is different from my regular posts but now we are all on the same page! Sometimes you gotta deal with the odds and ends. Come back tomorrow... I will be posting about some of the things that have been going on here this week.

Blessings on your day!

Writing, Speaking and Resolutions

This week is beginning with an overwhelming feeling that I am somehow behind. With a holiday yesterday, Monday is gone, and Tuesday is knee-deep in details. I have things to mail, a bank stop to make, an article to write, a blog to mull over and speaking engagements to plan. I have a lasagna to cook, garlic bread to bake, kids to care for and a marriage that cannot be set aside. There are a lot of things to do and while all of it is chosen, it leaves me wanting a nap.

Last week, a friend of mine asked on Facebook what dreams we had for ourselves. Given the fact that my resolutions are still fresh in my mind, the answer came quickly for me. I want to write. I love my speaking ministry and want to do more. Two easy sentences but so much to do!

So, today I am breaking it down and looking at it piece by piece. Sometimes, when we make those New Year's Goals, we are left with a broad stroke, a beautiful dream on a huge canvas. But the picture will only become clear as the details are added... a splash of ink here, a flower there, a bit of red, a glimmer in an eye, a shadow or highlight and then before our eyes, a masterpiece!

Today is my day of details. I am reminding myself that it is not enough to want to write. I must, in fact, do it. I must plan an outline, do my research, pray for guidance and wisdom and pull together the message that I want to share. It is not enough to passively accept speaking engagements. I must, in fact, seek them, advertise for them, expand my topic list and then get the word out. It is not enough to make the goals. I must, in fact, break them down into tiny pieces and then find room in my life to chip away at that list. It is in accomplishing these little things that the beauty of the whole will begin to be seen.

In the end, my to-do list will sound less like a bunch of "have-to" and more like a lot of "want-to". Because that is really the truth. Today may be full and I may feel behind but I am privileged to work at what I love to do.

So tell me. Need a speaker? I would love to help you out. Planning a parenting retreat or MOPs group or MOMs Group? It is what I do and what I love and you and I need to chat. Need a writer? Peruse the blog and see what you think. I have several works in progress and am excited to do more.

What about you? What resolutions did you set for yourself that someone here might be able to help you reach? How amazing would it be if we came together and helped one another to do the very things that God is nudging us to accomplish this year? I want to speak more. I want to write more. What about you?

Blessings on your day.

An Ordinary Day, Four Years Back

This week, I had the opportunity to speak on a new topic I have been working on for some time. In preparing for the talk, I collected many pictures of my children playing outside. For two days, both Mark and I wandered through our hard drive looking at the faces of our children as babies, as toddlers, as school-aged children. In one picture, Noah and Benjamin are running down the driveway of our old house. It was taken nearly 4 years ago and they are both looking forward, chasing a ball.

I am really not sure what happened when I saw that picture and I am really not sure why it was THAT picture that got me... but... in seeing my children, 4 years back, I missed them. I missed the little boys that the big boys used to be. I missed their tiny shoes, their smaller clothes, the way their little boy bodies fit neatly on my lap. I missed their simplicity, their laughter offered freely, the rhythm of a day focused less on activities and more on just caring for and being with my children.

Honestly, Mark and I have worked really hard to enjoy our kids, no matter the stage. We are not people who wish this day would pass so we can get on to the next thing. When our children were babies, we revelled in the newness of it. When they became toddlers, we laughed as they took those first wobbly steps. When they were two, we watched in amazement as they found their voices and made attempts to have some say over their young lives. When they began preschool, we celebrated their growing independence and ability to learn. When they left for school, we were overjoyed with their excitement for this new, huge world. And, as each thing came to pass, we missed the last stage some but found ourselves content with and proud of the people they were becoming.

So, I was surprised to find that I felt so sad in looking at that random, old picture. I love the boys they are today. I love how they make me laugh and I love that they have grown into a place where we can talk through the mysteries of life in a way that is more equal than instructive. But, that old photograph was a sign to me that it is going all too fast. Sometimes, when I am up to my eyeballs in children and schedules, the days can feel a little long. But, I remember that day when Noah and Benjamin were chasing that ball. I remember their laughter, their enthusiasm, their smaller bodies and simpler thoughts. I remember the sunshine, the temperature, the relaxing nature of a day lived doing what we wanted to do. And I know in my head that it was 4 years ago. But in my momma-heart, it was yesterday... or maybe just this morning.

It was a good reminder to me to not wish anything away. What seems like a regular moment today might be a warm and needful memory a year or two from now. I do not need to get through this day any faster than this day will go. Instead, I need sink my toes into this shifting sand and remember every detail of this ordinary day.

Today, the sun is out and the temperature is rising. Three of my sweet children have already gotten on a bus and ridden way too far away. Elizabeth, home with me, will head outside in just a while and when I am not playing with her, I need to watch. I need to see. I need to store up the way the sun lights her face, the way he feet don't touch the ground when she's riding on the swings, the way she runs head-long from one activity to the next all day long. I need to store it up for myself because all too quickly she will join her brothers and I will be home in the stillness with these memories all around. And I know that in that quiet minute, all things ordinary will become what really matters to me.

A Slacker Reviews Resolutions

I know, I know, I am slacking in my blogger duties! Thanks to those of you who faithfully check this site, only to find that I am still thinking it through more so than writing about it. This has been a time for that, thinking it through, and I have been juggling that processing with the very full demands of being wife to Mark and momma to four.

The New Year always holds such thinking for me. I take it all so seriously and truly want to establish goals for myself and my family that will matter to us this year and for many years to come. There are things that need to be taken better care of and things that need to get done. There are things I dream about and things that I know must occur. There is balance to find and structure to clarify. There are relationships to tend to and space to create. It is a lot I know... and I am aware that many people do not even believe in resolutions... but for me it is an important rite of passage from one year to the next. A touchstone. A cornerstone. A start.

Here are some of my thoughts, jumbled and messy but true:

1. Physically: I need to take better care of myself. This likely means going to the doctor, which I am loathe to do. In the midst of so much mommy-ing, my physical health is the first thing to fall off the radar and I know that it is not best. As cliche as it might be, I want to work out more and feel better. Baby steps.

2. Spiritually: I need to listen to what God has for me and trust Him to see it through. Doesn't sound that hard, does it? I tell myself that often... but I am quickly reminded that if it were as simple as those words strung together, I would be doing it much more readily! I know I need to write. I have a half finished book, many book ideas and need to work toward being published. I feel God nudging... but my feet are set in clay. Time to move.

3. Professionally: Oh the dreams! There is much I would love to do. God has given me a passion for encouraging moms and after speaking at conferences and to countless groups, I have a fire in my belly to create a retreat that does just that. I want to speak more, develop new topics, connect it all to my writing, and... I could go on and on...

4. Emotionally: I need seek balance in more purposeful and intentional way. There are times I get this right and many times I miss the mark entirely. I want balance to be a way of life in all times instead of a way to right my sinking ship. I know that when I am keeping good balance in my life, I feel better. When I feel better I am a better wife to Mark and a better momma to Noah, Benjamin, Josiah and Elizabeth.

I have several other goals that I am eager to work toward... and now, 20 days into the new year, I am still focused on these as I move forward. As I think it all through though, I know that none of it has any worth if it is separate from that which God is dreaming for me, as well. The past two years have been trying for us as we juggle two houses, two mortgages and more stress than we could have imagined being able to manage. But this I know... none of it is outside of His dream for me. None of it is without purpose. When I am most frustrated, most discouraged, it is the heart of God to pull near, draw me close, help me to find my way into yet another day. I am not alone. YOU are not alone.

As we continue through the beginning of this new year, let's hope together. Let's look at our humble lives and make goals. Let's plan and dream and in doing so remember that the God of all creation dreams WITH us. The goals we set with that in mind are worth far more than a new year's resolution. These goals can help us to unfold a bit more of His plan... and that is worth the work.

Speaking and Listening and Learning a Lot!

After months of waiting, it has finally begun! My first speaking engagement of the '08-'09 season was two weeks ago. I was asked to speak to a group in Monticello, IL called The Mom's Group and was so looking forward to meeting them! After a months of exchanging emails, Thursday morning dawned and I climbed into my van to make the long drive downstate.... but wait, was that a raindrop on my windshield?

As I headed for the highway and turned my radio to a weather update, I began to realized that it was not ONE raindrop... No, what it was, in reality, was a hurricane come rushing in from the Gulf of Mexico north to Illinois. Never before in my whole life have I ever seen such rain!

So, down I drove, through this onslaught of water and all the while I hoped that the women who attend The Mom's Group would indeed show up. On a morning like this almost anyone wants to stay in bed, especially those who will spend the whole day trying to entertain children who cannot play outside!

Two and a half hours later, I found myself in this sweet, little town at a gorgeous, old church and following the voices (and smell of fresh coffee!) I located the group. I went to talk with them about something that has worked well for my kids. I received from them much, much more.

As soon as I arrived, I was met at the door and offered a cup of coffee. I felt noticed and welcomed and tended to right away. Once inside I found a wonderful group of women seated around a room that had clearly been set up just for them. They exchanged names and snippets about their lives and were given contact information in cute, little books and I know that they left feeling part of something that would offer them connection and support. There was lots of laughter, freely asked questions and a camaraderie that was fun to be near. The rain had dampened nothing and I was glad that I had come.

It was two long hours home and I was tired. The rain did NOT stop... it did not even slow. But, I had that time to think about what is important to all of us. I went to share a story, an idea, a plan... BUT I came back remembering how much it means to be handed coffee you did not make, to hear a story that is not yours, and to laugh with people who understand the place where you are today. We all need these simple things but in the rush of our daily lives, we often do not find time to offer them to one another. I know I don't do it often enough. I am grateful to the Mom's Group of Monticello for helping me to remember these simple but grace-filled truths.

I have a lot speaking to do this year and I know that the hope is that I will bring a word, an idea, or a bit of encouragement to the groups that I am blessed to visit. But, in the midst of a hurricane in central Illinois, I was reminded about how much I have to learn from the women I will meet in all of these groups. The season has begun and I am excited... the learning started with reminders we all may need to hear... reminders about the importance of community, of connection and of coffee, too.

Let's look for ways to offer these to one another... to enfold those around us, to build community with our words and actions, and to offer a cup to someone who just may need a break. I learn this lesson with you... and I am off to bring a latte to friend. : )