Before They Go Back-to-School

We have been inundated with Back-To-School flyers and zippy commercials and academic supply lists.  We have been given the message, loud and clear, that it is time for us to get our ducks in a row, schedule hair cuts, stuff backpacks and purchase the newest, coolest gym shoes for the children in our homes.  School starts soon!  It is time to get ready.

And while all of this swims around my head, I cannot help but think that we are somehow missing the mark.  It may be true that there is something special about a brand new box of 64, but it is the thing that matters?  Is it really where our focus should be during these last, long days of summer?  Will our buying frenzy lead to children who are ready for school to start up once more?

Here are some preparations to consider:

1.  Let your kids linger outside.  In our home, we can already feel the schedules pushing in on our lazy summer days.  Team practices, last minute camps, forms to fill out... but my kids want to be outside.  They NEED to be outside.  Let's make time, before the time is gone, to push our kids out the door and let the sun land on their cheeks as they run and yell and hang upside down in a tree.  They need the openness of it... the freedom.  They need to think up a game and play with abandon and come in dirty and tired.  It matters, even if they beg to play video games inside.  They need to breathe deep, to lay in the grass, to watch falling stars in cool evening air.  Do it, mommas.  While we can.

2.  Listen to their concerns and excitements about the year to come.  Listen to the way they talk about their friends, their teachers, their school environment.  Let them spill the whole of it out so that you know where they are when they step away.  Ask gentle questions and then let the words come and look at their faces and read their feelings and help them talk through all that goes into starting a brand new year.  You are building relationships here... sending a message that you will hear them.  And as the wonder and turmoil of school begins again, you want them to know they can come to you with all that will arise in class.

3.  Check the messages you send about school.  As a speaker, I have had the chance to listen to mommas from all over, many of whom believe that it is normal, even expected, for children to hate school.  Breaks my heart!  Never underestimate the power of your words in your child's young life!  School does not have to be something kids dread.  Be positive about the year ahead!  Talk about the privilege of going to school and the amazing things they will learn.  Talk about LOVING it and working hard and playing hard and make it all seem like fun... because it is!  Kids who go into school ready for a great adventure, often will find one!  If last year was hard, speak positively about a new start!  If there are areas of concern in your child's school or classroom, please be prepared to get involved.  Be an advocate in trouble. Yet, in hardship or joy, speak with chosen words. Your words will replay in your child's mind and heart for years to come.

4.  Pray.  Pray a lot.  Pray for your children, for their school, for the lessons that will be taught and those that are unplanned.  Pray for your child's teacher and for the families and for the administration.  Pray with your child for those things that concern them and the things they are eager to begin.  Let the teachers know you are praying for them, if you feel comfortable doing so.  Because as this year begins, you will have a new partnership beginning as well.  A new name.  A new influence.  The teacher your child will be with this year will become a part of your family history. Your child will tell stories about this person and remember field trips shared.  Your community is growing and your family is growing and all of it is worth praying about.

5.  Read.  Read aloud.  Have your children read silently.  Prepare their minds and their imaginations for the year ahead.  It doesn't have to feel "academic"... allow it all to feel fun.  Even big kids will listen... so take a few minutes and share a story and let your minds run with the wonder of it all.

Getting ready for back to school has become a commercial event.  Search #BTS on Twitter and you will find hundreds of stores using that hashtag to draw you into the next "necessary" purchase.  But, getting ready for the year ahead has little to do with the things we must buy.  Yes, the Crayolas are necessary.  But stand back a bit and squint your eyes and look to see what matters more.  Helping our kids to FEEL ready... helping our kids to process what is to come... all of this matter so much more.

It takes so little to make the most of these days.  If we think through our getting ready, we can find ourselves teaching our kids to look forward to the year ahead.  Raising kids who love school is far more important than buying the "right" shoes.  Fostering a positive attitude about school can lead to greater success for our kids, opening doors we don't even know we will need.

These days of summer are numbered.  What we do with this time can set the stage for an amazing year ahead.

Blessings on your day!

Bittersweet Beginnings

I am not sure how it happened but somewhere along the way, I realized that beginning a new school year causes me to look at my children in a way that trumps other touchstones, including their birthdays.  To launch from the lazy, hazy days of summer into a brand new grade, causes this momma to stand still a moment and watch.  And truth be told, that watching often happens from behind unfallen tears.  Beautiful days of bittersweet, it seems...

Yes, we are back to school.  Summer has officially closed and lunchboxes are packed and new schedules litter my dining room table.   My four babies are off to brand new worlds and brand new teachers and almost overnight, they each are growing up.

Elizabeth began second grade and while we know the teacher well (all the boys had her as too), it will be a different walk for our sweet girl.  She will learn to love reading in that room and will make new friends and all of it makes me realize how big she has become.  Our baby girl is learning to do so many new things.

Josiah started third grade and this year always holds a weight for me.  It is a year of transition, a year of development and I know that the sweet, snuggly boy who has been right by my side for his whole life is beginning a new journey of independence.  So much happens in this year... the last year of the younger grades... And to make the transition even more powerful, the first day of school was also Josiah's 9th birthday. I still have him and miss him nonetheless.

Benjamin began 7th grade and his first year of middle school without Noah nearby.  This holds blessings for him but is a strange thought, too.  He will play soccer without Noah, run cross-country without Noah, start track, try out for the play and do so many things that they did side by side last year.  His (and our) feelings are mixed.  It is is nice to have your own space but it sure was amazing to see them doing so many amazing things together.

And then... perhaps the biggest transition of all... Noah started his freshman year.  I am quite sure that no birthday he has ever celebrated has grown him so quickly as walking through the high school doors.  He is playing soccer for his school and taking amazing classes and all of it makes me smile and swell with pride. He talks with us about history and college and teammates and friends and lessons and... well... my first born baby is really, really growing up.

Now the house has fallen quiet and the dog and I wait for the end of each day when they all come home and we collapse together at the dinner table to share our stories and experiences and questions together.  And much like you, I find my quiet is haunted with happy memories of summer and childhood and sprinklers and stories that make me smile with a lump in my throat.  Because all that they are and were swirls here in the silence... all that I know of my four sweet kids is real and present and treasured today.  And as the new school year begins, we will find ourselves discovering new things and my babies will keep growing and I will keep wondering where all the time has gone.

Maybe that is a little bitter-sweet.  But my eyes are on the latter...

May you sense the sweet today.

Blessings on your day.

Parents and Teachers and Together: 936 No More

What do you value? Have you ever wondered if you life tells this tale for you? If you sit down with your family budget, will it show what's important to you?

Mark and I think about this often and the thinking and evaluating helps us to make decisions about what we should or should not do when a choice must be made. If we look at where our money goes, it tells a bit about what we value, what matters to us. For us, faith and education top that list.

I have been thinking about education a lot lately. As a teacher, I knew my work was important. As a parent, I know that in a whole new way. I want my children to have an education that affords them the choices they will want as adults. I want my children to feel confident as they grow and seek to understand the world around them. We take it seriously... and that is not always an easy thing.

With the recent opening of the documentary Waiting for Superman, I have found myself in conversation with many people over the past two months about the state of the education system. It worries me. It breaks my heart.

I know that there are many amazing teachers doing great work in schools all over the country. I am so grateful for their effort... especially when it means that they may have to do that work in a system that makes it feel like they are swimming upstream. The amazing teachers do not worry me. They make me thankful.

What weighs on me is the number of schools that are failing. What weighs on me is the number of children that effects. What weighs on me is the fact that all of those teachers and all of those administrators will get paid anyway. With your money. With my money. And it feels as though there is nothing we can do about it at all.

I believe it is time for change. When is the last time you wandered into the local grocery store, handed over your hard-earned cash, and then did not check to see that you were getting what you expected in your cart? You would NEVER do that. If you purchased a whole, fryer chicken, it would certainly not be okay with you to get a pack of chicken wings!

And yet, when it comes to the same hard-earned cash being paid for taxes and sent to your local school, we feel somehow disconnected from that money. It's just taxes, right? Just taxes. We feel like we have no say.

Wrong. This has to be wrong.

Have you ever googled your state's Report Card? Schools are required to post this information and it is (or should be) available to you. Take a peek. See what you think... I did just that today. It is a confusing site and has many overlapping statistics. But, if I understand it correctly, my home state of Illinois currently shows that 76% of students meet or exceed state standards. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it? (I do worry that the actual standards are not listed on the website though... What is that standard? Hard to know how I feel about it if the standard is 60%.) Or, it looks differently if you think that this very stat means that 24% or 1 in 4 children approximately, does NOT meet that standard. Maybe that is okay given the wide span of learning issues represented in our schools. There are so many different kinds of kids... so many kids who struggle in so many different ways and I am grateful that our public school system enfolds children, even when they need creative ways to learn... So, let's look at it another way. The state reports on "adequate yearly progress". I can't say I love the term because I know I want better for my child than "adequate". How does Illinois rate in this way? Do we pass? The report shows that there are 3910 schools in this state, 2253 of which made adequate yearly progress. I believe this means that about 1657 schools did NOT make the progress expected by the state. The report also points out that 791 schools in Illinois are improving... but what about the other 936?

My friends, in this state that I adore, as you sit here right now reading this blog, there are 936 schools failing. Right now, there are real children sitting in real classrooms with real teachers and it is just not working. The learning we MUST offer our children is not happening. The standards set forward by those in positions to set those standards are not being met. It scares me to think about how many students that actually effects.

We can sit together today and talk about why. We can wonder and chat and carry on about it all but I have to wonder if any of that makes a difference in the lives of those kids. You see, this isn't theory. This is real life. And whether it is because of money, or unions, or teachers or location or situation wont really matter when those children graduate and cannot read or write. This is not a time for pointing out how great some educators are or how little we appreciate the success stories in Illinois. Both of those things are true. There are great teachers in Illinois and many success stories and those teachers and successful schools have earned our appreciation. But, these points do not negate the fact that in some schools, in way too many schools, standards are not being met. Remember, this is real. This is current. These children exist and are not theoretical. They are sitting in a real classroom right now. Real children who mean as much to their mommas as your little ones mean to you. Real children who will grow up and decide the direction of this country... who will have children of their own and who will have to find a school for them, too.

This matters to me. It matters to me that my children get an education they can use. It matters to me that we, as a country, come to value that in a way that expects change from all schools... especially those 936. And this might be the time for us, as parents, to say "This is enough!" and demand better from those who need their expectations to be higher.

In the United States, our kids are expected to have 180 school days. In Canada, that number is 194. Our kids go to school for roughly 6 hours a day. Many countries have far longer days. In China, kids spend up to 8.6 hours a day in a classroom and attend school between 190-228 days per year. How can we teach them everything they must learn, everything other children in the world are learning, if we do not have enough time? Do we value it really? Really? If our school day is getting shorter and we are falling in achievement level and our drop out rates are rising and if 936 schools can be failing and yet everyone still gets paid? Is this about year-round schooling? It is not what I am suggesting. But, I know that in my town, kids are home well before 3pm. What would happen if we added only one hour? That is 180 extra hours of instruction... what could we do with that?

Do you feel as stuck as I do sometimes? Does it feel like there is a disconnect between what we want for our kids and what some kids are provided? Do you want more for your taxes? I do. I really do. And I know people will get mad and carry on about unions and hours and work load and salary and... We need to stop. We need to stop being distracted and start expecting more. More from ourselves and more from the schools and teachers that are not doing what we need them to do. Believe me, there is no teacher shortage. If we were able to find the teachers who really do not want to do this job and if we were able to open their positions, I know there are thousands of recent college grads that would do anything for one of their spots. College grads who have spent years dreaming of a classroom of their own. College grads who are brimming with new ideas, young legs and energetic optimism who would love to spend their days with kids who NEED to learn.

That said, we all need to do our part. No one is exempt from raising a generation of children who are really well-educated. As parents, what shall we do? What part do we have to play?

A couple of easy ideas:

1. Read to your child. Find ways to make reading fun. It is a little thing that makes a world of difference. Reading is crucial to a great education. If your child can learn to enjoy it, you are giving them a step up in the process. As a former first grade teacher, I can tell you that this point cannot be made strongly enough. Don't give up, dear friend. Find the key that opens this lock.

2. Help your kids understand how important school is in their lives. Get excited with them about the opportunity they have to learn from their teacher. Fostering a positive attitude in our kids will go a long way toward helping them get invested in their own learning. Speak highly about school, about teachers, about the choices your kids are earning as they seek success in their academic life.

3. Know what is happening at school and get involved. Try to keep up with what is being taught in the classroom and discuss it at home. Looking up the same subject online with your child to help them discover even more about the topic can help them to see how interesting learning can be. Nurturing a love for discovery and curiosity makes a world of difference.

4. Foster learning at home. Turn the TV off after school and offer comfortable places for your child do his or her homework. Snacks and breaks can help an overwhelmed student feel more at ease. In our home, we even encourage the older kids to read and study with the younger kids so that everyone gets involved. And when the TV does get turned on, turn on the captions, too. Seeing the words that are spoken written on the screen helps the details of reading fall into place.

5. Visit school. No matter where you choose to send your child, you should be welcome to visit and help out during the school day. Get to know the office staff by name. Knowing that we are all part of the same community can help people feel connected and improve a difficult situation. And when you visit, every now and then, bring something for the teacher. Even on our tight budget I can share some baked good with the people who spend more time with my children than I do. Watching a teacher feel appreciated is an awfully nice thing.

6. When something is unclear, ask questions. We do not want schools to feel like we are always looking for an issue but we do want to foster an environment of accountability. If you don't understand how or why something is happening with your child, talk to the teacher in a respectful and open way. You are on the same team. Approach the conversation in that way. When the parents and teachers work together, when you do what the teacher requests at home, when you communicate about issues happening in your house, your child will benefit. Guaranteed.

7. If something is not right, follow through. If you see something that is bothersome, do something about it! Whether that is something that relates specifically to your child or your tax dollars (or both!), talk to the school administration and make your worries known. Maybe you do not understand the issue or maybe a change is needed. Until the school is aware of the concerns of parents, change will not occur. It is time for us to work together, expecting more of one another and helping each other meet goals that will benefit our children.

8. See Waiting for Superman and think about the big picture. I know a lot of you already do. Maybe your child goes to an excellent school. That is great! But until all children have access to good education, we all have work to do. You may deeply disagree with this movie and that is okay. The more we hear about all sides of the education issue in the United States, the easier it will be to find ways to fix what is broken. Is the whole system broken? No. But, if there are children in this country who do not have access to education that will open doors in their futures, we must fix the things that are broken.

9. If you know a great teacher or if your child spends the day with one, pat them on the back. Sing their praises loudly! Send an email to the principal and tell them how pleased you are with that teacher! (Principals get LOTS of negative emails... send an email of praise!) Teachers need to know we see all that they do for children. They need to know we appreciate them. Send a thank you note, a baked good, a gift. Tell them face-to-face. The work teachers do on behalf of our kids is hard and when it is done well, it must be noticed. (As a total aside, each year for Christmas, I give a homemade gift to my kids teachers--usually something I canned--and a thank you note that tells the teacher, in great detail, what they have done in the life of my child. I know this means the world to these amazing teachers. Positive feedback is powerful.)

10. Dream with your kids about where a great education can take them. With good grades and a positive attitude, kids have so many choices! Help them to think about all the incredible things they could do with their lives and help them connect the dots. The work they are doing today matters for what they get to do tomorrow! And if you find your child is struggling, help them. Help them. Encourage them and work with them and talk to the teacher so that your children feel like they can keep moving toward those open doors. Discouraged children lose a lot of steam... help them work it through while speaking truth and hope into their young lives.

Do you see? We all have a part to play. Parents and teachers working together to build a community that supports the learning of children for the betterment of society! It is a beautiful picture that is lived out all over the country! But... not everywhere. There are children who need to catch a glimpse of this vision... who need access to better schools... who do not have the options we want for our kids. It is time to take our tax dollars seriously and find ways to help schools that need it. It is time to support the teachers who do amazing work, some with very little, and thank them for a job well done. It is time to find ways to reform the school system in America so that there are not 936 failing schools in ANY state.

When we come to see, teachers and parents alike, that this is a work that we share... that there is accountability both ways... that location or economy should not dictate quality... things will change. And the people who will benefit from that growth and reform are the children. The same children who will someday grow up, and in turn, seek to educate their own little ones. There is a ripple effect here that is worth all the effort, worth all the talk, worth all the work that it will take to do better.

Because really, what do you value? I am asking myself the same question. When I look at my life, at my choices, at my checkbook, do they confirm what my words say is truth? Looks like an easy question... but it is harder than it seems. This is not a topic for finger-pointing because we all have a part to play. And when it's all said and done, the answer will be clear. We will see what we valued in how we all lived and not in what we said.

In our family, value education. But, I know I must do more. What about you?

Blessings on your day.

The Last Day of School...

My head is full... my words, jumbled. Here is how we started this day. Off to go to the last day of school... They love it. They really do. (I do, too.)

By noon, us mommas stood outside and waited and out they came... backpacks full and teary eyes. My little guy is in orange... with his buddy who is wearing orange, too.

Sometimes, even in the midst of it all, you have to take a second to think... even when you are older... even when you're 13. Because it is a lot to end the year... a lot to think about and a lot to feel.

Then, we went to the park... a grand distraction that works so well! And they played and laughed and jumped and ran and ate junky food while the sun fell on their sweet, little faces. Oh... and there were sandcastles... well sort of.

It's not that we wanted to leave... just that the time had come. So out we walked, ready for what comes next, ready for what summer brings. Because it is good and sweet and needed and right. And our friends will be there, too...

Blessings on your day.

First Teachers and Words of Thanks

Two years ago, I sat in an elementary school library gathering information about Kindergarten for Josiah. The information given to me would be used two years in a row... first for my youngest boy and then for my daughter. It had been four years since I had enrolled a child in Kindergarten and I was overwhelmed with a fierce feeling of over-protectiveness for my babies.

The other parents and I listened to general kindergarten information about the program available for children at our school and then we headed off to the kindergarten classrooms. Once I had settled into the tiny chairs at the tiny tables, I listened to the teachers speak. One of them moved me to tears.

If you have heard me speak, you may have heard me talk about that night. One of those good women talked at length about how, we as parents, were not learning more information about who would be our child's first teacher. That job is ours. We were their first teacher when we taught them words, read them books, counted Cheerios... Have you thought of it that way? You, my dear friend, are your child's first teacher. Right now. Today. All our school choices are important... but none more important than the one to look into the faces of those we love best and teach them colors, talk about the world around us, number the cups on the table and help them discover the wonder of reading.

I love that work. I sometimes wish I had more energy for it... but I do really, really love it. I love watching them discover something new and beautiful and helpful and amazing. I love watching their mouths learn to form words and the words then string into sentences and sentences to conversations. I love it.

That said, I am so grateful... deeply, humbly grateful... for the teachers who have come alongside our babies and taught them, too. I love the school my children are blessed to attend and cannot believe how hard the teachers work. How selfless they are. How well they enfold my babies into an educational community and motivate them to learn.

The end of the year is hard for me... I so love these wonderful teachers that I hate to say good-bye. So, in our house, we turned it into something else... instead of waving and moving on, I write a little thank you. Wonder what I am thankful for? Tonight, here is what makes me smile...

I am thankful for teachers who:

-feel called to the profession of teaching and live that calling out to the best of their ability. Loving children in response to calling is a beautiful gift that is unlike anything else.

-have a vision for the work that they do and use that vision to motivate children to learn. Making learning fun and purposeful takes endless years of education and turns it into a journey full of amazing discoveries.

-understand that some kids need more than a lesson taught out-loud. Some kids need activity, song, colors, to make the pieces come together. When they are given this, the lessons they learn stick in a permanent place and can be called on for years to come.

-look at each child and see the whole of them... strengths and weaknesses... and try to meet them where they are. Connecting with each child and helping them makes all the difference in the world.

-make things fun and real and silly and good. Because it matters that my child laughs. It matters that they are happy. It matters that they WANT to be there. And when you laugh, my baby laughs. And I smile.

-sometimes teach it twice. Because someone wasn't listening or a bird flew by the window... or because it just didn't make any sense. Your persistence helps to be sure that no one is left behind.

-set the bar higher. And tomorrow, move it higher again. Because I do that, too. I want my kids to know there is something better.... better behavior, higher achievement, improved attitude... and that they can reach for that today. I am so grateful when our teachers do not settle for what might be "okay" or even "normal"... because I love when they see that there might be more.

-squat down, face to face with my babies and throw their arms around them and pull them close and hug them tight and love them. Really love them. I am not worried about my child being touched by their teacher, I am worried about them NOT being touched by their teacher. I know how important that relationship is... and I love to see it right before me.

So, teachers... thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. Thank you for the hours you work that we never see. Thank you for loving, for responding, for being creative in how you do your work. Thank you for making our school a place my children walk away from, on that last day, in tears. Thank you for loving your students and teaching them well and for willingly becoming an honorary member of our little family. Because you did, you know. You have become a part of our story... a name we use with respect and awe... a part of sweet memories that will make us smile for years to come.

It is true, I was their first teacher. But, it's May and the year is almost done and I am feeling a little nostalgic. I have four sweet children who all go to school and spend their days with amazing people who have loved them well. I will miss them soon... but for tonight, I am just thankful.

Where are those note cards? Might be time to write some of this down.

Blessings on your day.

Books for Summer!

I love books. I really do. Our house is full of them... full of bookshelves and stacks of books and sorted books and kids books and chapter books and picture books... and it gets a little messy, but I just love it. My kids have been around books since they were born and all four of them came to love them in their own way.

I talk to parents all the time who say that their kids just don't like books at all. They don't like to read, don't like stories, aren't good at it and would rather do anything else. Sometimes that is true but when you find that a child is not connecting with reading at all, you don't have to assume that is a permanent situation. There might be something you can do to help steer them in another direction.

When Noah was born, we read to him all the time. He was the kind of baby that loved to listen and look and soak it all up. He loved the one on one time with a parent that comes with reading and if you even held up a book to show him, he lit up. We kept a little wagon in the family room with bunches of board books in it and, from the time he could sit up independently, he would dump them out and look at the pictures. Honestly, we didn't make him this way... he came this way and we fostered it.

When Benjamin was born 18 months later, he didn't sit still for a second. Showing him books was an exercise in futility because all he wanted to do was explore. He could not focus, didn't want to turn pages, could not listen and we were stumped. Noah spent a lot of time looking at him, completely confused as to why his little brother wouldn't play along.

I could have given up. We thought about it. We tried to wrap our heads around a kid who didn't like books. And then I had an idea! What if I found books he could explore? What if I bought books that made noises and had flaps and were totally hands on? Would he take the bait?

Did he ever! We started with Pat the Bunny and moved on to every book I could possibly find that had textures, buttons, wheels, pop-ups... And in very short order, Benjamin was sold! Books were fun! Books made noise! Books were something you could play with and touch and experience in lots of different ways.

My older boys are 13 and 11 now and both are always wrapped up in a book. Being boys who love to read has been a benefit to them because so much of school is easier for kids who can take the written word and store it up for later use. But, that is just an aside. What they really love is a story that lights up their imaginations and helps them to see something new in God's amazing world.

Summer is the perfect time for reading and for fostering a love of the act itself. If you have a reluctant reader, this is a great time to look at it in a whole new way. How can you make it fun? What is the stumbling block? Is it hard? Is it boring? Is it work? Knowing what keeps your child from opening a good book can help you find a solution that will allow them open up a new joy in their life. Think it through. What do they need? It is totally fine to meet them where they are and make the act of reading a thoroughly enjoyable activity.

When I was a first grade teacher, I used to make space in our week to spend time reading books for pleasure. During this time, I let my students sit or lay anywhere in the classroom that they liked. If you had peeked into our classroom during a free reading time, you would have seen students laying under their desks with their feet on their chairs, sitting on our register while leaning on the windows, curled up under tables, laying on the floor outside their lockers with their feet tucked deep inside... and yes, seated happily at their desks. I loved it. They loved it. And they learned reading could be fun and comfortable and about them.

What should they read? Oh my! I could go on forever on this topic (this is actually one of my speaking topics and in that, I share long lists of wonderful books)... but for today, here are some great choices:

Babies: Pat the Bunny, Goodnight Moon, Freight Train, Babies

Toddlers: Anything with a flap. : ) Books by Eric Carle

Preschool: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Green Eggs and Ham, The ABC Book, Good Dog, Carl

Elementary: Charlotte's Web, Guess How Much I Love You, Fancy Nancy

Upper Elementary: The Chronicles of Narnia, Guardians of Ga'Hoole, Island of the Blue Dolphins
Middle School: The Hobbit, Shakespeare's Secret, A Wrinkle in Time

High School: Eragon (the first in a series)

Also, if you need help finding really good books, look up books that have won awards like:

Caldecott Winners: Picture books

Newberry Awards: Story (normally chapter books)

Caudill Award Winners: Illinois Award for Outstanding book (chapter books, usually)

Monarch Award: Illinois K-3 level Outstanding Book (usually storybook)

What about reading out loud to your kids? Oh yes! If you can find a few minutes, sit down and do just that! Don't get wrapped up in feeling guilty if you didn't get around to it today. Start again tomorrow. I just ordered a book that you might find helpful called Classics to Read Aloud to Your Children. This book includes stories to share with your kids, rated by level and offers a time estimate for how long it will take to read that story. ( For instance, The Ugly Duckling is great for younger kids and will take 9 minutes to read. )

In our house, summer is the perfect time for reading. My kids are encouraged to read 30 minutes a day but most of the time, 30 minutes turns into far more. We will make trips to the library and make room in the day for relaxing and enjoying a book.

So, let's share some ideas! What books do your kids love? What has worked well for you? What advice can you share with others who wander into the blog today? What questions do you have about your kids and their approach to reading?

If we work together now to make a plan for raising readers this summer, what an amazing season it can be in your home! So take a second, leave a comment and let's get ready for what's yet to come!

Blessings on your day!

Time to Talk About Summer! (Part One)

It seems like I have been planning this topic for weeks... just never getting around to sharing it with you. So today, the time has come! Time to talk about summer. And I am excited!

I know full well that all of us here today have lives that are similar and different from one another. This topic applies to all of us. If you have a family, it is a worthwhile thing to think about the upcoming 3+ months and what it can mean to your children. No kids? No problem. What can it mean to you?

When I was a teacher, I spent months each school year helping students to reconnect to things I knew they had learned the year before. And, imagine my discouragement when my first graders turned second graders spent months doing the same thing with their new teachers? I felt, even then, that it was a huge waste of time in the school year to have to reteach information that had already been taught and learned by these sweet students.

When I became a parent, I wanted to raise curious children. I wanted them to live in a home that fostered a love of education that was not so tightly tied to school as to their natural drive to discover. Sometimes, we do a pretty good job of that and sometimes not... but it is a goal for us. So, when I see months and months of free time coming, I want to have a plan. I know that school is ending and their time of formal education is transitioning... and now, (now!) I will have all the time in the world to continue to help them grow and develop as curious, little beings who see the world as a place of wonder and discovery.

So, what do we do? What am I planning? Well, there are many topics there on which to blog but let's just start with some goals I have for my children this summer.

1. I want them to relish listening to a story and am seeking read-alouds that I can share with them... a little at a time... over the months ahead.

2. I love how the Bible talks about God's words and His law being sweet... sweeter than honey! I am toying with ways to tie this to a time of Bible study in a very concrete way... possibly involving Jolly Ranchers!

3. I am always looking for ways to connect my children to each other... I am working on what this can look like this summer but am not fully decided on a direction.

4. I would love for my children to work on writing skills this summer. I am wondering if this might develop into something bloggy. Hmmm....

5. I have this big picture dream about how my children might come to understand the full scope of history. I am toying with ideas about what this might look like for us this summer and am really excited about starting this out.

6. I want my kids to help one another eat in a healthy way. Sometimes, we do a great job of this... sometimes we don't. I am hatching some ideas about what it might look like if I partner with a child to help meet this goal. As always, we will grow a huge garden... all doing our part to keep it growing well. I know this will help us in our effort to eat healthy.

7. Nature exploration is a big deal for my kids. I continue to harbor a dream of getting my kids off to see nature in new and amazing ways. This would likely include some travel for us... and will certainly involve a lot of camping which is high on my list of "to do" this summer.

8. DOWNTIME is so needed... so needed. I can feel how frustrated and tired I am with the craziness of May. I know it is harder on my kids. I am envisioning LOTS of time to play, hang-out with friends, jump through a sprinkler, stare at the sky.

9. Academic growth is easy to continue in small ways throughout the summer. This, we will do for sure. I have looked into some new ways to manage this since we have done workbooks for so long! Elizabeth is just starting to read and I want to encourage that with her and help her learn to just love the act of reading and see it all as fun!

10. I am looking for time WITH my children. I want to be with them and watch them and laugh with them and enjoy them every day. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed with the length of summer and I want to find a way to keep that at bay. Hold it off. I want to remind myself, every day, that Noah is 13 and I only have 5 summers with him left. It goes too fast. And it is so easy to wish it away.

So, there are some goals we are working on for the summer. This list is not complete but it is a pretty good start. For me, knowing there are goals helps me to craft a picture that is working toward something that will be meaningful for my children. What about you? What do you hope for your children this summer? What do you think is important for them to experience during these many months off? I would love to hear some of your ideas so feel free to leave a comment. I love comments more than you might guess! : )

Tomorrow, I will talk about some about ways I hope to maintain my sanity during those summer months. Little changes go a long way for me. I have never really worried about this aspect before but after a year of being home alone, it feels different to me this year. So, I want to be proactive. I want to guess a bit at what I will need and make a plan now while I have some time to think.

I have more ideas to share about summer so if you are working on making your plan, be sure to keep checking back. The goals above will be connected to actual activities that we will add to our summer months. I will let you know what those are and am eager to read your thoughts, too. Together, we can create a wonderful span of time that helps our children to stay connected to what they have already learned and to continue to seek growth in a whole new way.

Blessings on your day!

Thankless

Such a thankless job, parenting. If you are reading along here, you likely know this to be true. We work for our families day and night; washing clothes, cleaning the house, wiping noses and brushing hair. We read repetitive books, draw with chalk, sweep up Cheerios, and change more diapers than we can count. While we do this all out of love for our kids, the reality is that very seldom do we hear a word of gratitude. While we may not work in hopes hearing it, sometimes the silence is deafening.

When Elizabeth came home from China, Noah was 7, Benjamin was 6 and Josiah was 2. From the outside looking in, we had a bunch of very young children. They seemed close in age and while it was very busy, we loved being surrounded by all those little kids.

I am not sure how I didn't see it coming, but honestly, I had no idea that someday we would have a kindergartner, a first grader, a fifth grader and a middle-schooler, ALL AT ONCE. What looked like a pile of little precious, people 5 years ago turned into a busy bunch of beloved babies, growing, grown and going in a million directions at once. On a regular day, I can find myself reviewing letter sounds, teaching spelling words, refining leadership skills and contemplating the effect of hormones on a preteen mind. There is a span to it that leaves me both loving my varied life and wishing for a nap.

Last week was busy and stressful, to be sure. The end of the academic quarter necessitated a lot of tests and Mark and I both helped children finish projects, review for quizzes and get ready to wrap the whole thing up. Most of the kids handled the schedule fine. The older boys, who have more things due at the end of a quarter, had a harder time. We reviewed good study skills and tried to help them stay organized. By the end of the week, it was unraveling for Noah. While he does well in school, keeping track of all that is needed takes up a lot of room in my boy's head. He was tired and weary and worn.

A fresh start is good for everyone. Tuesday, school returned and with it came a new quarter and new classes and new assignments. But before we could jump into all that, I sat with Noah on Monday night and asked to see his assignment book. We went over ways to make it work better for him... ways to think it through and track his work so he does not feel overwhelmed by details slipping by. I offered him an incentive to stick to it and told him I would ask to see it on Tuesday night.

He was excited after school the next day to show me what he had done. I looked and listened and encouraged him to keep it up. He went about his day and I went about mine... books to read, dinner to cook, kids to hug and some to scold.

Before I go to bed, I always go and look in on the kids. I love to watch them sleep. I will stand in their rooms with a little flashlight, cover them up and pray for them, one by one. Last night, I did just that. Elizabeth had a hard night and I spent a few minutes praying in the dark by her bed. Then I tip-toed quietly into the boys room and did the same. Prayed for their friends, their difficulties, their gifts, their spouses-to-be. And then I headed off to bed.

You know, by now, that in the hallway hangs a dry erase board that I use to write notes and reminders and words of encouragement to my kids. As I passed this board, I noticed a bit of handwriting that was not mine.

It read, "Thanks for helping me with my assignment book. It made my day a lot better."

I stood in the hall and smiled. Yes, this is a thankless job. Maybe that's okay because when one comes, spoken or written or whispered, oh it tastes so sweet.

Little things matter... they matter a lot. And what you did today made a difference to those you love the most. Whether they said thank you or not.

Blessings on your day.

Stopping Time

Some days call for a bit of quiet. Some days call for a time when all the noise and activity around me falls still and I am left with a minute to look around me and see what is left behind.

My children have a book called The Boy Who Stopped Time. In the story, the boy does not want to go to bed and so he reaches into a clock and stops the pendulum from swinging and then everything around freezes, except the boy. He wanders through his house, his town, examining everything in great detail and eventually returns home desperate for life to move and live and breathe again. He starts the clock and is happy to go off to bed. The story has great draw for my kids... the idea of halting time and landing a later bedtime is a dream come true! I like the book as well... though for very different reasons.

Over the past few weeks, my life has changed dramatically. The end of summer always brings a different rhythm. But this year, the end of summer brought far more than a schedule adjustment. This year, when school started, my life as a mother to my four little ones changed completely. For nearly 13 years, I have spent almost every day with someone by my side. I have had a child on my lap, following behind me, knocking at the bathroom door, for well over a decade. I don't say that as complaint. It was a choice. It was a choice to be here, loving on them, reading to them, disciplining them, snuggling them for all these many years. But, a couple of weeks ago, every, single one of my children strapped on a backpack and headed off to school.

I am not sure how to process all of that. I am so right-in-the-middle of it all that I have struggled to find words to share with all of you. Normally, I try to blog about what I know. What I see. But this... this I do NOT know. And what I see is the backs of my sweet babies as they head on into school. The sight is both wonderful and exciting and deeply sad. Not for them you see... but for me.

Is the sadness from the missing? Maybe so... But in another way, the weight of it comes from the marking of the end of one well-loved season. The end of hands-on, all-day mothering. The end of the constant companionship of a little growing person discovering it all in front of me. The end of having really little ones. The end of what I have known and loved for almost 13 years.

Know this... the sadness is okay. I am not crushed. I am not overwhelmed. I have, instead, made space in my life for reflection during this strange time of adjustment. And making that space has been helpful to me... and leads me to a whole new appreciation of the book The Boy Who Stopped Time.

Sometimes, as mommas, we need to find a way to catch our breath, find some quiet and take a look around. Claiming those seconds to step back and really SEE gives us images to recall when the life we are living is chaotic or filled with change. In my head, I see these images today and in them, I gain comfort and perspective.

I see:

Noah at 15 months holding tightly to the wall, looking at the couch. Suddenly, he releases his grasp and heads 3 steps to the couch... and learns to walk.

Benjamin at two, pushing a red, plastic chair into the center of the living room. I watch as he climbs onto the top of it, carefully placing his feet on the outer edges of the seat. He lifts his left foot and the chair begins to tip. Quickly he slams his foot back down, rights himself and laughs out loud at the thrill of ALMOST falling.

Josiah at 4 months, cuddled in my arms. He has just finished nursing and is gazing and cooing up at me. His blond hair is all fuzz standing straight up on end and his grin is fully toothless. I remember clearly thinking, "I am happy."

Elizabeth, almost one, sitting on the living room floor. We had been home from China roughly two hours. The boys burst into the house and all my children saw each other for the very first time. Within 5 minutes, they were all laying on the floor cracking each other up. Our family was complete.

Over the past several weeks, I have flipped through images of stopped-time again and again. I have looked at them in great detail and have revelled in the fullness and richness of our shared life. I have been reminded of the importance of the ordinary... the memories we make in our day-to-day life... and how they live longer and in brighter color because they are repeated again and again. And I have come to see that all that is important is not in the past.

This week, I see:

Noah, at twelve and a half, running down the soccer field, dressed in a school uniform. He looks at me, smiles wide, and the sun gleams off the braces on his teeth.

Benjamin, nearly 11, making a face at his little brother during dinner and both of them erupting into giggles that fill the dining room and spread quickly to their siblings.

Josiah, newly 7, making a list of the books he has read this week to turn into his teacher at school. The list is then put carefully into a folder and added to his backpack and he smiles to himself at his preparedness.

Elizabeth, five-years-old, gathering snacks to put in her Kai-Lan lunch box, relishing the organization of it all and the deep feeling of inclusion she feels in finally being old enough to actually go to school.

Stopping time is good. But, I don't want to live in a place where all those images remain stopped. I loved those moments. I loved my babies as babies, as toddlers, as preschoolers and I love them now. I soaked up those minutes and I expect to do nothing less in this new season of life. It looks different. It feels different. It really IS different. But memories are being made in real time today. My children are running and smiling and laughing and we have things to store up right now. This new season of parenting may be unfamiliar but this too, is good.

Today, I will let the clock run but make time and find energy to let myself see this in all it's wonder. The endless job of parenting marches on and I don't want to miss a thing.

Blessings on your day.

The Last Day

Years ago, when I was working at Trinity, I learned huge lessons about the importance of closure from a resident assistant who was working with me at the time. Katie was especially gifted at nurturing relationships and in her professional and private life, she always made sure to make both beginnings and endings in special ways. While I had known, in my head, how crucial it is to find ways to offer closure at appropriate times, Katie taught me how that LOOKED as she lived it out before me. This has had an impact on my life as a parent that I did not expect.

Our children attend a nearby Christian school and they adore the time they spend there. Every year, they learn so much and show such enthusiasm for these new bits of knowledge. The teachers are passionate about their work and exceedingly loving in how they treat their students. The school overall does a phenomenal job of building community and connecting students K-8 in ways that brings out the best in each child. It is exactly the educational experience I had envisioned for my children and I am so grateful that they are able to attend this school. But, the end of the year is always bittersweet. While they eagerly anticipate the free and relaxing days of summer, knowing that they will walk out of their classrooms and away from their beloved teachers for the last time brings on a sadness that is saved specifically for year-end. Yes, less time with friends is a part of this equation but it is the loss of a year well-spent that makes my children sad.

So, seeing this trend from the beginning of their school years, we have established traditions that help to take the edge off the end. Year after year, we conclude our year with carefully chosen activities that offer to them (and to me) Katie's closure.

Weeks before the school year ends, we begin to talk about making the most of our final days. We talk about ending well, working and playing hard. We try to be extra aware of academic issues, spending more time studying for tests and completing projects. In our house, the end of the year is so full, so busy, that it would be easy to let all of this slide. Paying extra attention helps a lot as the final grades are recorded and the days wind down.

The night before the school year ends, I sit with each of my kids and we talk about what they are thankful for in school. We recall the amazing experiences they shared with classmates and the special gifts that each of their teachers offered to them. And then, with all this fresh in their heads, we write thank you letters. I encourage them to do this on their own. The words and memories are theirs and, for us, it has proven to be an important experience to take a minute to not only be grateful but to express that gratitude to someone with whom they have shared this year. (And...this is top secret... after my sweet babies have all gone to bed, Mark scans these precious words into our computer leaving us with a legacy of thankfulness that is heartwarming to review.)

On the last day of school, my children choose an outfit that feels right to them. The process is much like choosing what to wear on the first day of school. For some, it feels right to dress up a bit... for others it makes more sense to choose what is comfortable and comforting to them. Then, after we pray together and they leave on the bus, I begin a lot of behind-the-scenes running and errands to help that day be all that it needs to be.

First, I run to buy flowers. It is our tradition to give each teacher a bouquet of flowers or a hanging basket as part of our thank you to them. Sometimes, we have also prepared baked goods to give them as well. (This year we packed chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies we made the day before.) It is my goal to be at school, flowers in tow, by 10:00 for the first recess of the day. With the thank you notes from the children, the baked goods and the flowers, I go from classroom to classroom giving these to the boys to give to their teachers. While I am there, I take a picture of each child with their teacher and then leave them to finish their day.

Once this is done, I run to McDonald's to buy lunch for the kids. I pack these into the van and then head back to school. Though my children ride the bus, it has been important to them to see me outside when they come out on the very last day. So there I stand, hugging my sad boys, as they say good-bye to what will always be an important time in their young lives. And then, they get on the bus for one last ride. With teachers waving from the sidewalk and parking lot and many young arms waving from bus windows, it all comes to an end. The tears do not belong to the children alone. These amazing teachers who have loved their students so well are often misty, too. It is a bittersweet moment for all... reluctantly turning from the blessing of the school year to face full on summer coming.

Now perhaps you find yourself wondering about my being at school while the bus runs my babies on home... I annually find myself wondering about this, as well! Hoping for a time-warp, I hurry to my van to beat the bus to our house. (Believe it or not, this usually works!) I then wait in my driveway til they all come home and as they step off the bus, Elizabeth and cheerfully yell "Happy summer!!". Dumping all our stuff in the house, we quickly load into the van to head off to the ultimate distraction from all things sad, a trip to the park to have lunch with friends from school!

By now, the McDonald's bought much earlier has grown a little cold but in the last 8 years, I have yet to have one complaint. Arriving at the park, the kids run off to sit at picnic tables with those to whom they have just said good-bye. Eating quickly, they then run and scream and laugh and play at a park we reserve just for this. The moms sit together and dream of days with later starts and worry a bit about filling endless days with meaningful experiences.

After a couple of hours, everyone exhausted, we pack it up to head home to relax. The intensity of emotion has waned by then and the kids are drained but content. Traditions behind us, summer begins. And it is full and it is good and we are ready.

Keep reading... the word we ban and some of our plans are coming up next...

Blessings on your day!

Since I Have Last Blogged...

May always gets away from me. I don't know about you, but I would take the hurried holidays over the mayhem of May any day. With spring comes sports and projects and the wrap up of a year well-spent... and while all of it has its upside, in the end I feel like I can barely keep up.

Since I have last blogged, Josiah and Elizabeth started baseball and have played all their games, save one. They are on the same team and both have really learned to hit the ball. Mark and I have watched in amazement as our youngest boy came to embrace a sport our older boys did not care for much at this young age. Josiah also had a chance to try soccer in a nearby town and has grown from an overwhelmed kindergartner unable to understand why he had to run around after that dumb ball, to a true competitor who has found joy in contributing to a team effort to score.

Since I have last blogged, Noah has jumped into another baseball season and another soccer season and finds himself playing side-by-side school friends on both. While we normally do not "double-sport", Noah has found that he loves the fullness of juggling school and two sports and has a great time on both teams. Soccer ends for him on Saturday but baseball has a long way to go!

Since I have last blogged, Benjamin has thought through what it means for him to play on a travel soccer team. We have spent time evaluating with him what is good and what is frustrating about this different level of play. For a boy who loves to run and laugh and compete HARD, the conversation was a tricky one... and truth be told, something we continue to process with him still.

Since I have last blogged, I have wrapped up another busy speaking season and have had some time to reflect on how blessed I am to be able to spend time connecting with women far and wide about our important roles as moms. Whether we were talking together about organizing our children or balancing our lives or organizing our home life or playing outside, that time feels like pure privilege to me. I am now busy planning next year's speaking schedule and am excited for what is yet to come.

Since I have last blogged, I have worked alongside my children completing school projects, studying for tests, memorizing Scripture and generally trying to keep us all on track through this trying time. All in all, it felt too full and yet I know I felt the same way last year... and the year before that, as well.

In the midst of all that activity, I flipped the calendar over and this week found myself standing in June. With nothing more than the change of the month, all that busyness ground to a halt and now I am in a season anew.

Tomorrow is the last day of school. Noah, Benjamin and Josiah will all go for a half-day and suddenly find themselves older, wiser and a grade ahead. Am I ready? Am I ready to be the mom to a seventh grader, a fifth grader, a first grader... and in the fall, my final kindergartner? In talking this over with a friend last week, I remarked that in many ways advancing in school starts to feel more weighty to me than the birthdays of my children. By the time my 9 year old turned 10, I was ready and had been trying that age out on him for months. But, finding my fourth grader has suddenly become a fifth grader, with all the increased responsibilities, social pressures and impending "talk" just stuns me. It feels so old and this leads me, every year, to a place of such nostalgia. How can it be that my sweet babies are getting so much older? How can it be that the same boy that I just taught to ride a bike is now looking sideways at the sweet girl who sits two rows over in homeroom? Some days it seems like it goes too fast and when the school year ends, I find myself seeing it all through a wide-angle lens... learning to walk and starting school and becoming a 'tween all in one quick pic.

And maybe that is okay... Maybe it is okay for us to have moments when the scurry of our schedule slows down and what had been rushing by in a blur becomes suddenly clear. They are growing up before our very eyes. And we get to watch. We get to help. We get to journey alongside those we love best and offer our hand as they learn to navigate the path they will soon enough own.

Tomorrow is the last day of school and but today is for remembering and seeing and smiling at what I sometimes miss. Today I have a sixth grader, a fourth grader and a kindergarten boy. Tomorrow, the world will change and I have three months to adjust to that new truth. Three months to play and learn and sleep and be with these children who will only be this age once. I know we will all miss school but I look forward to all that summer will bring.

Keep reading, friends. I will be blogging next on how we get ready for summer at our house... traditions we share, how we structure our days and normal words that we count as "swears" during June, July and August. I will write again soon! I am off now to spend time with my daughter... the last day of one-on-one time til she shares her days with her brothers all summer long. I may be lost in thought but I want to see what is in front of me while its still here.

Blessings on your day!