A Letter to My Children-- To Save Their Sanity and Mine

Today, I will take a brief break from blogging to write a helpful letter to my children. :)

Dear Children,

You know I love you all to pieces and think you are each as cute as a bug's ear. That said, I would like to send you a bit of information that might help our life together go a bit more smoothly than it did this morning. Ready? Here we go!

1. When we lovingly tuck you into your beds at night, it is helpful to go to sleep. When you do so, you would be amazed at how awake you feel in the morning. It will be so much easier to get up! You know, unlike today.

2. When a teacher gives you an assignment, months in advance, it is likely because the assignment will take a very, very long time to do. Starting the work is not the same as finishing it. Trying to finish it at 9:00PM will likely not work. Going to bed at 11:30PM with said assignment almost done will not lead to a spunky morning. Remember this morning?

3. When momma calmly wakes you up and tell you to take a quick 5 minute shower before school, please do not lock the door and hang out in there for 20 minutes. You will not be able to get to school on time. Your siblings will not be able to brush their teeth. Like, um... today.

4. When your sister is in your way and you are in a hurry, it is likely a better choice to use your words to get her to move, rather than using your hands. It makes her mad. Really mad. She doesn't think clearly when mad. Like this morning.

5. When your brother "gently" moves you out of the way, it is never a good idea to swing your coat around and whip him on the arm. This gets you in more trouble than it gets him in. If you don't do this, he will be in trouble for moving you. If you do decide to do this, you will be in trouble for bruising your brother. I believe we learned this lesson this morning. Right?

6. When your mother has made dinner for the family all week, baked a special meal for the all the teachers and cooked home-made chicken soup for an appreciation luncheon at school and then asks you what you did with the sandwich she made you for lunch, never, ever tell her you threw it out. This is upsetting to her. Maybe this was unclear... well, maybe it was til this morning.

7. When you momma tells you that the shirt you want to wear is too small. Don't take it from your little brother anyway. It fits him. It doesn't fit you. It will make your morning crazy because you will then have no shirt laid out to wear. You know, like this morning?

8. If school says to dress up like you are Australian, it does not mean that you really have Australian clothes. Because, we don't. No matter what you do, no matter what you wear, you will still likely look like a child from the suburbs... just one dressed in khaki shorts and a cowboy hat. The reason it doesn't look perfect is because, well... it isn't. That's okay. Don't then ask your mom for more safari clothes. I am not sure there really is a safari in Australia anyway. Just grab some binoculars and call it good. We should have gone over this all this morning.

9. When one child is crying because of bruised arm, one child is crying because of a time-out, one child is crying because his homework is undone and one child cannot figure out why everyone else is crying, it is not, under any circumstances, the right time to ask momma a question. She will not like it. She might raise her voice. She will use her angry eyes. Like this morning.

10. When the morning is crazy and everyone cries and some people get hurt and some work is still undone and the milk is left out and the eggs are not quite right and you throw out your sandwich and the house is loud and it all just feels bad, remember this: Momma loves you. I love you when you are good. I love you when you are confusing. I love you when you are naughty and frustrating and stubborn. I love you because you are mine. I love you because God gave you to me and He knows we need each other. I love you because you are you. Even this morning. Especially this morning. I love you.

Forever and Ever,

Your Momma.

Blessings on your day!

Rain and Negativity and the 4th of July

Negativity. It sinks in quickly, doesn't it? It does for me. I have been really aware lately of the negativity that surrounds us every day. I hear it on the news, read it in the newspaper and can sense it creep into my thoughts as I go through my days.

Spring came slowly this year. On evening newscasts, the weather man and reporters commented incessantly on how cold it was, questioned why it was not yet warm, and wondered when it would happen. When the weather finally broke, and we truly did have to wait, within 24 hours the same newscasters were complaining that it was too hot, when would we have a cooler day? I noticed it then... heard it in a new way and saw it in myself, as well. Discontent. Frustration with things outside my control. Negativity.

Where do you see this in your own life? Where does it sneak in and take away your joy?

We grow a huge garden every year. Last week, the garden had grown a bit dry and we knew we needed rain. As the holiday approached, we could see it on forecasts all week long. Rain. It was going to rain alright. On the 4th of July.

Come Saturday, all day it was dismal. All day it rained. The clouds hung low as we cleaned the house to prepare for our barbecue. Streams trickled down the street as I boiled potatoes for potato salad and added the perfect spices to our inch-thick hamburgers. Our kids got squirrely and Mark and I struggled for a while with a general crabbiness that seemed to fit the day. Fighting this feeling, Mark took the kids outside to play football and frisbee (simultaneously) in the rain.

Our guests arrived and seeing the children laughing with their dad in the front yard, dripping wet, likely thought we were a little nuts. We grilled under umbrellas and we laughed at each other' stories and our children played. Then, at about 8PM, the clouds broke and we headed to a local park to watch fireworks. We packed umbrellas and a thermos filled with coffee. Upon arrival, we set up our chairs and the announcement was made that the fireworks would start early in hopes of getting them in. Clouds were rolling in again. Looked like rain.

We watched as the sky exploded in color. Fireworks big and beautiful and colorful in a way that a sunny day would have likely led us to overlook. We did what we always do, sit side-by-side with friends and ooooh and ahhhh at the spectacle above.

As we sat watching, drizzle fell and turned to light rain. But, after the show, it broke again and, not wanting to fight traffic, we played frisbee in the dark and stood smiling as our children ran with sparklers lit. As the rain returned, we packed up our things and headed back to the nearly empty parking lot. We drove home with the wipers on and the kids were damp and happy and tired. As we tucked them into bed and fell exhausted onto the couch, I suddenly realized that we did not miss a thing. Yes, it rained. A lot. But, in all honesty, every single thing that we had planned to do that day, we did. We had friends over, grilled out, played outside, watched fireworks, lit sparklers and had a fabulous time. It didn't LOOK like we thought it would. It didn't FEEL like we thought it would. But it was all that we had hoped for and more. And our garden got watered, as well. : )

We could have missed that truth, my friends. We could have missed it altogether. Had we fallen onto couches and spent the night complaining about how the rain ruined everything, we would have missed the joy.

Negativity is a nasty thing. It surrounds us and keeps us believing that we are somehow entitled to having sunny days. It causes us to see the foibles of our children and the weaknesses in our spouse and the smallness of our house and the struggle of our bottom line...and leaves our focus there. The wonder of our children, the kindness of our spouse, the shelter of our home, the lessons in tight budgets, all of this falls away and we are left shaking our empty hands at what we do not have.

We have lived 2.5 years with two houses and two mortgages and a budget that can never really work. I have children who misbehave and have struggles all their own. And sometimes it rains. It did today. A lot. But, I ended the day with three boys snuggled on the couch with me, laughing outloud. We wrapped blankets around ourselves and I loved the way they felt, warm and cozy and close to me. A warm and sunny day would not have given me that moment. A cold and rainy day caused it to play out just like that.

I know some days are hard. They are hard for me, too. I know this time of struggle leaves us frustrated and often in need. I know. I really, really do. But, I also know this. I have this day. I am still here. I have these children all around me. I have a husband who loves me and plays with his kids. I have a life that is simple but true. And I am not entitled to anything at all. I have not earned this beauty. How could I? I have been deeply blessed and can see God's hand in it all... offering me this gift. Handing me well-wrapped gifts of my children's giggles, Mark's hand in mine, and food on the table. I sit surrounded by all that He has made and the wonder of creation is clear... and sometimes it needs rain. It is blessed by rain. And sometimes blessed in spite of rain. Like me. Deeply blessed in spite of all that seems to fall around me. I will not be distracted by what does not look or feel like I thought it would. Instead, I choose to hunt for what is good... and that hunt always ends well.

Today, I will push the negativity aside and squint to see what is freely given my way. This life. Good and gritty and simple and clear. And that is just enough. I will not ask for more.